Alexei Auld is back with a brand new book available 7 Secret Sources of Inspiration: A Snappy Guide for Creative Procrastinators to grill Eugene S. Robinson (who's pushing a GoFundMe to pay for the new Oxbow album) and myself with some PR stumpers from the world of combat sports.
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Today's puzzlers include:
- At 0:54 - You're newly crowned UFC Welterweight Champion Tyron Woodley. Within twenty-four hours of becoming champion at UFC 201, your photo appeared on a Reddit MMA post showing what some suspect to be signs of repeated steroid injections. Do you engage in any proactive PR to smite this Scooby-Doo mystery or ignore these meddling kids from letting you get away...with enjoying your glory?
- At 8:12 - You're Golden State Warriors player Draymond Green. Your penchant for penile provocations puzzles me. Groinshots galore throughout the NBA playoffs. Suspended for seizing LeBron James' junk. Delinquently displaying a dick pic on Snapchat...and lying about being hacked. You later apologized, "I kinda hit the wrong button and it sucks. It was meant to be private. We're all one click away from placing something in the wrong place and I suffered from that this morning." What PR can you possibly posit for those who aren't so keen on your peen?
- At 12:18 - You're Matt Damon. Actress Constance Wu blasted you for headlining Great Wall, a historical drama about Chinese history and "perpetuating the racist myth that a only white man can save the world" in addition to other cultural appropriation hotdogging. Given your liberal bonafides, what PR is needed to make amends?
- At 18:31 - You're Teen Wolf Star Tyler Posey. After years of your show flirting with same-sexing scenarios, you left LGBT viewers disappointed for allegedly gay-baiting. Last week, you took matters into your own hands and posted under a Gay Street sign on Snapchat. "This is me. I am this and this is me. I've never felt more alive. I'm gay!" Then you tweeted, "Although I'm not gay, I fully support the LGBTQ community. This was a moment intended to reflect that." The problem? Nobody's laughing. As a victim of, a selfish kind of love, how can you get it right, while you got the time?
- At 24:20 - You're Donald Trump. Maybe they didn't love you, quite as often as you think they could have. Maybe you didn't treat them, quite as good as you should have. Horrid things you've said and done, are you sorry you were so blind? The Khans are always on your mind. Why are the Khans always on your mind?
- At 30:48 - TEACHABLE MOMENT: You're HBO. Last year, you bought Sesame Street under what was called a "true winning public-private partnership model." Last week, the beloved Bob McGrath told The Muppet Cast Podcast that you evicted him, Gordon and Luis from Sesame Street after living there for a combined one-hundred and thirty-two years. Fans are irate and you're reconsidering. Can you make things right or have you tainted your brand, by showing your hand, as a soulless gentrifier?
- At 34:31 - EUGENE'S LOST BATTALION
Enjoy!