Once again Alexei Auld is back to grill Eugene S. Robinson, author of Fight: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Ass-Kicking but Were Afraid You'd Get Your Ass Kicked for Asking and myself with some PR stumpers from the world of combat sports.
And I forgot to plug them on the show but here's a shout out to Elmer at X-Guard Brandfor hooking up my man Jeffro with some killer grappling pants.
Today's puzzlers include:
- You're Cain Velasquez. Your stock was high after dominating Brock Lesnar, but you lost your claim to be the "Baddest Man on the Planet" after a flash knockout loss to JDS on a massive free-tv Fox platform. You regained your mojo as "Cardio Cain" by a slew of dominant victories which ruined the careers of your opponents and set the stage for the UFC to finally cash in on the Spanish language market with you as the king in the DF (AKA Mexico City, for all the gringos out there). Speaking of gringos, your opponent, Fabricio Werdum, channeled Chael Sonnen and labeled you as one while he set up an early camp in Mexico. You preferred to stay stateside against the altitudinal concerns of your coach. Still, the promotional stage was set for you, and you blew it. An immediate rematch was set up in an environment more conducive to your cardio. With two weeks to go, you pulled out, and wrote a heartfelt letter to the fans, Cain-splaining your injury. Do you need to do more to protect your brand?
- You're the UFC. Unlike Conor McGregor and Anderson Silva, Cain Velasquez has not been able to take advantage of your full promotional muscle. How do you mitigate the potential damage to your brand in emerging markets when faced with an unreliable, yet unreplaceable draw?
- You're Fabricio Werdum. You told MMA Fighting that you aren't defending your UFC Heavyweight title against Stipe Miocic because you're not "100 percent", but you'd fight injured against Cain Velasquez. How do you spin this as anything but being scared of a short notice Stipe fight?
- You're Ronda Rousey. You're the first MMA star to host Saturday Night Live and how does the media respond to your appearance? Questioning whether you were sporting a wedding ring. Noting your Holly Holm opening monologue shout out. Laughing at Cris Cyborg's tweet: "Watching #SNL and it looks like @rondarousey still needs help on her standup". Is it better for your brand to go full-Carano?
- You're Holly Holm. When asked by TMZ if you'd vote for Donald Trump, you replied, "He seems to get things done" and quickly said you didn't know who you were voting for yet. Is it better for your brand to clarify when you've made up your mind or to stay far away from politics?
- CURVEBALL (UNDER WRAPS)
- TEACHABLE MOMENT: You're billionaire former NY mayor Michael Bloomberg. According to the New York Times, despite claiming that Mitt Romney's failed campaigns served as a "cautionary tale for candidates from the business world", you privately believe that the political extremism offered by Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and Bernie Sanders as well as Hillary Clinton's primary stumbling and bumbling presents an opening for your third party presidency. You have a billion dollars to burn on a last-minute bid, but how can you inspire support without invoking the spirits of Perot and Nader and contributing to create the so-called nightmare presidential scenario on which your candidacy is based?
- REGULAR FEATURE: Now it's time for EUGENE'S LOST BATTALION/PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH
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