Welcome back, kids. It’s time for more lopsided and oddball violence from around the globe again.
Lots of what takes place in the events we cover and videos we procure are on the edge of what is sensibly regulated, and we’re starting off with something right up that alley. The fine minds over at Fight Commentary Breakdowns grace us again with an MMA vs Wing Chun smoker in a gym that seems promising at first. You’ve got the usual fixings: the gloves, the headgear, the ample space to go ham.
But then you notice that one of the guys is wearing a chest piece. And that’s your first clue as to how this is going to go. That’s none other than the Wing Chun guy, and as the fight goes on, you’ll be glad he had extra protection.
Now, let’s not get our hopes up here. There’s no electrifying knockout or spectacular moment of action in this video. It’s mostly an MMA guy doing really bad MMA against a practitioner of a much more traditional martial art. And bad MMA is very common, so that’s not a knock, either. The real attraction here is the awkwardness stemming from the fact that this Wing Chun guy is ostensibly someone that has been practicing for years to hone his craft and train his art only to start to loosen up and fight like Bart and Lisa Simpson with his flailing arms.
There’s not much in terms of skill, it’s mostly sloppy. It also mostly calls into question what exactly the training level is at some of these gyms and who thought it was a good idea for these to gentlemen to be the representatives of their respective styles. In the end, this benefits no one, since both parties looked terrible.
While it’s not fair to evaluate the state of modern Wing Chun or baseline MMA, it certainly shows a lack of discernment as to what makes someone a good candidate for representing their art.
But enough with that, let’s move on to STRELKA.
We’ll start off with DEATH ANGEL vs HELL WARRIOR in the most 90s SNK titling we can expect in the modern era. Not much here, ugly striking a takedown attempt of sorts, etc. But it ends with an absolutely miserable-looking guillotine that made the victim reconsider some life choices.
Here’s another one that just hit the sweet spot for me:
FRANCE BOXER vs SAVAT FIGHTER is a gem. It’s the ugliest striking since Bumfights, the worst scrambles since (insert random drunk WorldStar fight) and it’s just bad. Yet it is in the chaos of the action that the thrill and excitement are found. At one point, one of them turns his back and the other guy looks like he’s trying to channel Bob Backlund with a Chickenwing Crossface. Even when it hits the ground it makes no sense, with a break needed after a really bad choke attempt.
But once the action resets, one of them slaps on a vicious looking rear naked choke. The lack of skill is immediately evident for both of them, but the defending fighter not even looking to fight the hands is clearly in for the worst of it. Four stars.
Ah, but now we have ANGRY MAN vs SCHOOL BOY. Why is the man Angry? What school does this “boy” go to? How in the hell is any of this legal? I suppose that as long as this doesn’t go the way of Shockfights, they’re in the clear.
Fun fact, this syncs up really well with Yakkity Sax. Again, the standup portion gets really goofy until someone falls over and pulls out the My First MMA™ lessons to finish the bout. It’s not entirely clear to me if this was a shoulder pin choke or just pain due to pressure on the jaw. One of them wins, the other doesn’t. Whatever.
Then we have a returning phenom, Black Panther.
He’s up against a guy they call a boxer, but I’m gonna need some citations for claims of that caliber. Black Panther stuns the undersized schlub in a finish that is impressive and instantly very, very sad. That Panther dude got hands, though.
So it was a fun week for oddities in Russia, but to a land of true ruin, misery and lawlessness. A land of no hope, where dreams go to die.
Streetbeefs (also stylized as STREETBEEFS) has reloaded with some more absurd fisticuffs.
A gentleman going by the name Green Lion (for reasons I can probably guess but choose not to) faces another man by the moniker Splinter Cell. No, there’s no stealth and definitely no Michael Ironside here.
God, I wish.
There’s a dude fighting in MMA with his street clothes on, and I’m talking cargo pants, boots, etc. It’s like he didn’t even have time to stop home from his shift at the warehouse. And then he nails the skinny dude with a spinning kick. With the boot on. Florida.
Then there’s Zero vs Drama. The names aren’t very good, especially since this one had all the drama. It starts off looking like two untrained, unskilled, unathletic Palookas ready to throw hands, and turns into so much more. This is my favorite thing of the week, because wow. It may not have the explosive ending you’d expect, but everything before it was fun.
You’ll notice that some of these have a sign that says “Heal faster with peptides“. Well one of these guys is gonna need them peptides with some urgency. Don’t worry, you’ll figure out who it is as soon as things start.
Keep the peptides handy, and stay away from Ivermectin. You might think you’re tough, but don’t forget there are many guys like you all over the world.