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If I Did It: Conor's next moves, Nate busted vaping, Lochte's lies, Ellen rides Usain Bolt

Welcome to IF I DID IT where we analyze and solve PR kerfuffles from the world of MMA and beyond. This week we look at Conor McGregor's options after winning at UFC 202, Nate Diaz busted for vaping post-fight and Ryan Lochte's gold-medal story-telling.

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Alexei Auld is back with a brand new book available 7 Secret Sources of Inspiration: A Snappy Guide for Creative Procrastinators to grill Eugene S. Robinson (who's pushing a GoFundMe to pay for the new Oxbow album) and myself with some PR stumpers from the world of combat sports.

For the audio only version check us out on SoundCloud and be sure to subscribe to MMA NATION on iTunes and subscribe to MMA Nation on YouTube so you'll never miss an episode.

Today's puzzlers include:

  • At 1:48 - You're UFC Moneyweight Champion Conor McGregor. Nate Diaz and fans were clamoring for an immediate rubber match after your UFC 202 victory Saturday night. But you told @TheBuzzer "I've gotta talk about what's next. There's a lot of options, and some might not be this sport. We'll see". Then TMZ Sports reported a harrowing narrowing, "Dana says Conor has two options -- either fight Aldo or surrender his title to him -- or cut weight to 155 and fight Eddie Alvarez for the lightweight title. Dana says under any scenario, he's closing the books on McGregor vs. Diaz." After seeing his cards, what about yours? You gonna hold 'em, fold 'em, walk away, or run to an option we just can't see?
  • At 14:30 - You're Nate Diaz. According to, when asked about what was in your vape pen after a UFC 202 loss against Conor McGregor, you said, "It's helps with the healing process and inflammation, stuff like that. So you want to get these for before and after the fights, training. It'll make your life a better place." Since CBD AKA Cannabis is a banned substance, USADA "is aware of the situation and is currently gathering information in order to determine the next appropriate steps." What PR steps are you taking?
  • At 18:53 - You're Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer Ryan Lochte. all that you can say about lying to Billy Bush, lying to Matt Laurer, lying to your mama, leaving your teammates hanging "while you skedaddled". And even tore apart the Today Show by rousing the rage of Al Roker. While the fallout of his exasperation eruption is unknown, we do know this: Four of your sponsors, including Speedo and Ralph Lauren, dropped you for all the nasty things you've done. You told Matt Lauer, "These tantics (sp), these shenanigans. I know I can turn this around " Tell us and we'll listen carefully, on how you'll sing your comeback song.
  • At 24:35 - You're Ellen DeGeneres. You tweeted a photoshopped image of riding a smiling Usain Bolt with the caption, "This is how I'm running errands from now on." Outrage and claims of racism ensued over what People Magazine referred to as "negative connotations of showing a white woman riding a black man". You followed up by tweeting "I am highly aware of the racism that exists in our country. It is the furthest thing from who I am." Should that be enough or must you follow up with "Apologies to Jesse Jackson"?
  • At 32:45 - You're Michael Henson. According to The Smoking Gun, multiple 9-1-1 calls were made to Dayton (Ohio) Police about you pulling down your shorts, exposing your penis which you " the front grill of the van and began humping" it as if you were "having sex with the van." Officers on the scene claimed you "appeared under the influence of some type of narcotic". You gotta blame it on something. Whatever you do, do you put the blame on you?
  • At 37:41 - You're Politico. According to CNN, Melania Trump put you and at least eight other news outlets "on notice... for making false and defamatory statements about her supposedly having been an 'escort' in the 1990s." Since that you've been warned, will you soften your Trump coverage or go the way of Gawker?
  • At 44:29 - TEACHABLE MOMENT: You're Fox Searchlight Pictures. You envisioned multiple Academy Awards after acquiring the distribution rights for Sundance darling THE BIRTH OF A NATION. At some point soon after, you discovered that the movie's director and star, Nate Parker along with the film's co-writer, was accused of raping an unconscious, intoxicated nineteen year co-ed at Penn State seventeen years ago. The media knowingly ignored reporting on the case and you thought you were in the clear. Until last week. Parker arranged an interview with Deadline which struck many as tone deaf. Not long after, news broke that his alleged victim committed suicide after the fallout of the incident. News outlets are apologizing for their journalistic faux pas in dropping the ball on this "Cosby Moment". And you are allegedly contractually obligated to promote the film at churches, high schools, and community centers with Parker discussing social justice. What can we learn from your seventeen and a half million dollar failure to do diligence before a purchase with PR peril?
  • Plus, EUGENE'S LOST BATTALION: At - 1:03:53


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