Hey Boys Happy Turk Day From Me. The UFC Commentary Maven Himself Mike Goldberg, To You, The Reader Of Extremely Fucking Good Journalism. Theres A Lot To Be Thankful For Boys. UFC Fight Pass Has A Big Event On Saturday, I Was One Of The Only Journalists With A Big Enough Nutsack To Pick Holly Holm To Beat Rondo Rousey, And Ive Been Able To Spend At Least A Little More Time With My Son Who Hate My Guts. I Didnt Pick Any Fights Last Week Because Honestly Boys I Was Just Too Fucking Hyped About The TUF Latin America Finals. This Week Though We Journey To The Land Of The Rising Sun, Soul South Korea, Where In The Main Event Two Former Lightweights Decided To Eat A Lot Of Turkey And YAms And Move Up To Welterweight Now.

DOMINIQUE STEELE VS DONG HYUN KIM: It Turns Out Theres Another Korean Boy Name Dong Hyun Kim And Hes Also A Welterweight Except He Call Himself The Meastro And Not The Stum Gum. However I Dont Think Hes A Big Strong Dong Like The Other One And Dominique Young Unique Shows His Ass And Knocks This Dong Loopy. WINNER: STEELE

NING GUANGYOU VS MARCO BELTRAN: I'm Gonna Be Completely Fucking Honest Here Boys: I Used To Be A Massive Ning Guano Fan. The Way He Won TUF China Was Extermely Captivating And He Seemed Like The Kinda Guy Who Does Things The Right Way. Then He Knocked Out Royston Wee. Then Royston Wee Got Cut. Therego Ning Guango Knocked Royston Wee Out Of The Octagon. I Still Wear My Royston Wee Singapore Fight Kit Out Of Protest Under My Suit. Beltran Was Impressive On TUF Latino, And I Just Have To Hold Out Hope He Can Destroy This Chinese Menace. WINNER: BELTRAN

YAO ZHIKUI VS FREDY SERRANO: Another TUF China Vs TUF Espanol Showdown, This Time Between Flyweights. Zhikui Had An Extremely Close Split Decision Lose To Royston Wee, Which There Is No Shame In And Then He Fucking Dominated Nolan Tictac. Meanwhile Serrano Is Like A Tiny Yoel Romero, A Legendary Older Colombian Wrestler With Dynamite In His Tiny Fist. He Only 2-0 But I Think He Gets The Hat Trick As He Knocks "The Conker" Back To The RUFF Circit. WINNER: SERRANO

SEO HEE HAM VS CORTNEY CASEY: Hamderlei Silva Is Back In The Octagon. Hopefully When WADA Came To Test Her She Didnt Try To Sneak Out The Backdoor. Cortney Casey Is Coming Off A Good Fight With JoJo Calderwood But I Think The Hamster Goes Ham In Her Hamtown. WINNER: HAM

DONGI YANG VS JAKE COLLIER: The Ox Is Back To Kick Some Fucking Ass Boys. He Was Only 1-3 In His First Run But I Thought He Beat Court McGee And Brad Tavares And Chris Camozzi, Which Says A Lot Because Those Are All TUF Boys. Also This Fight Is In Korea And Not Collierville Which Also Favors The Ying Yang Here. WINNER: YANG

TAE HYUN BANG VS LEO KUNTZ: This Is It Boys. Bang-Kuntz. Will Kuntz Get Banged? Will Bang Be Overpowered By Kuntz? This Is Too Much Of A Tossup For Me Boys. I'm Picking A DRAW

YUI CHUL NAM VS MIKE DE LA TORRE: Both Of These Guys Are Coming Off Strange Losses. Nam Lost To Philippe Nover Who Is The Next Anderson Silva And GSP So I Guess Its Not To Bad. DeLaTor Lost In 16 Seconds To Maximo Blanko Who Is Legally Insane So I Dont Blame Him For Coming In Tentative. This Fight Will Be Hotter Than Szechuan Chicken But I Think Nam Wins. WINNER: NAM

DOO HOO CHOI VS SAM SICILIA: Sam Sicilia Is A Feathweight Who Fights Like A Beefboy Heavyweight. He Usually Will Either Knock You Dead Or Get Submitted. I Love Watching Sam Sicilia Fight, And I Think He'll Make Doo Hoo Go Boo Hoo After He Gives Him Lots Of Boo Boos Boys. WINNER :SICILIA

SEXYAMA VS ALBERTO MINA: The Sexy Boy Of MMA Is Finally Back Again. Coming Off An Extremely Impressive Win Over Amir Sadollah He Takes On Alberto Mina, Who Is Undefeated And Has A Win Over A Fighter Named Boy Eggels. Impressive. But I Think The Sexy One Rides Again, Oils Himself Up, And Slides Into The Harley Davidson Winners Circle. WINNER: SEXYAMA

THE OTHER DONG HYUN KIM VS DOM WATERS: This Dong Hyun Kim Is A Top 15 Fighter At Welterweight, Has Only Lost To Other Elite Welterweights, And Is Fighting In His Home Country. Dom Waters Took This Fight On Short Notice, Is 0-1 In The UFC, And Competed On TUF 16, Which Is Regarded By Some People To Be The Worst Season Of The Ultimate Fighter. But I Think On The Aisle Of The Pacific Dom Will Take Kim Into Deep Waters And Sub Him. WINNER: WATERS

BENSEN HENDERSEN VS JORGE MASVIDAL: Ben Henderson Vs Jorge Masvidal. WEC Vs Strikeforce. These Guys Were Exciting Lightweights Who Decided They Liked Eating Food And Lifting Weights More Than They Liked Starving Themselves And Using IVs And Making Dana Hold The Towel In Front Of Their Naked Dicks And Looking Extremely Pissed Off. People Forget That Bendo Is Half Korean, So It Will Be Emotional For Him To Fight In Front Of His People. However It Has Been A Good Time For Former Miami Street Fighters, With Kimbo And DaDa 5000 Set To Clash In Bellator. I Think Masvidal Takes Bendo To The Boatyard In This One In A Close Decision. But Then Bendo Will Win The Decision. WINNER: BENDO

That Does It For This Journalistic Prediction Collum Boys. Thanks Again For Reading. Im Glad You Took Time To Read This Instead Of Reading Bull Shit Like Deadspin Who Only Wants To Talk About All Of The FUcked Up Parts Of The Sport Instead Of The Extremely Cool Knockouts And The Beefboys And How Cool Dana Whites Houses And Vehicles Are. See You Next Time When We Have THree Fight Nights In One Weekend And I Try REally Fucking Had To Not Constantly Cum In My Pants.

\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.