The Best Fights In History Will Probably Happen Friday June 8th......

but I will not be around to watch them. I learned one lesson from Farthammer in my life and that is that if you want to ensure a card's awesomeness, you come into the fanposts and tell everyone that you hope it sucks.

I won't be missing this card on account of an impossible to escape babysitting gig, though. Instead I will be getting married.

My wife to be endures a lot of nonsense from Bloody Elbow and I appreciate her patience and courtesy laughs as I show her cat .gifs and other things that I consider to be hilarious. She thinks we are a bunch of dorks and she is probably right.........oh yes, the shitting on the fight card I was supposed to do:

I hope Uncle Creepy v. Mighty Mouse II comes to an even more inconclusive and mathematically fucked up ending than the first one did.

I hope Charlie Brenneman puts on a GnP performance that makes Ben Askren look like Mike Russow, Jon Jones, Mark Coleman and Tito Ortiz combined.

I hope Leonard Garcia wins by Split Decision after landing 9% of his strikes, spending 14:30 on his back and succumbs to exhaustion from having to throw strikes with that cursed power of his that even Michael McDonald would murder a million puppies to have 1/10th of.

I hope Jon Anik refers to someone's chin as a "beard" 1000 times.

I hope every takedown attempt is a high crotch.

I hope Wario Yamasaki referees every fight.....except the Brenneman/Silva fight.

I hope everyone talks about the Civil War in the wrong thread.

I hope Chris Hall gets banned.

That should ensure everyone a great night of fights......especially if the last one comes true.

\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.