"I do have to say it takes two to tango, but I'm disappointed and I think Fabricio should be ashamed about his performance" - Alistair Overeem, on the lackluster main event between himself and Fabricio Werdum, who littered the fight with flopping attempts at pulling guard. (Fighters Only)
"Considering that Fabricio is the best grappler in MMA, the game plan was to not go into his game." - Overeem, explaining why the bout was not contested under ADCC rules. (Sherdog)
"He just did not want to stand and bang with me, and I expected that. He had a lot of words before the fight, so it’s a pity. My apologies to the fans." - Overeem
"Forty pounds of whoopass difference." - Overeem, comparing the rematch to his first meeting with Werdum in 2006. (Showtime telecast)
"Looking back at the fight, I believe he didn't come to fight and was stalling a lot, but I wasn't able to capitalize on it and finish him." - Overeem, who judges awarded a unanimous decision.
"My nose made it impossible to breathe, my eyes were full of blood and Junior was still coming at me." - Shane Carwin, who's now blaming his losses on rebellious body parts. (Shane-Carwin.com)
"When the doctor came in the Octagon I knew it was going to be up to me to sell them on letting me continue." - Carwin, who impressed everyone* with his performance** on the UFC 131 countdown*** show. * - no one; ** - glorified line-reading; *** - carnival-barking.
"I wasn’t able to see but I said I could and we continued." - Carwin, with a performance more convincing than Christian Bale in The Fighter, Daniel Day-Lewis in My Left Foot, or Kermit the Frog in The Muppet Movie.
"When the final bell rang there was no question in my mind who won the fight." - Carwin
"I have had a lot of time to reflect on the fight and while I have not seen it and due to the damage I incurred I can’t recall much of the fight." - Carwin, proving why punctuation matters.
YOUR MIND POWERS WILL NOT WORK ON ME, BOY
"I honestly really don't think it does [work]. If you have any knowledge at all of jiu-jitsu, it's just not going to work." - Dave Herman, who TKO'd Jon Olav Einemo in a wild slugfest at UFC 131. (MMA Fighting)
"If you literally have never heard of anything and have no idea what they're doing, OK, kind of like the first UFC, yeah jiu-jitsu works. It's kind of like trickery, basically." - Herman. Jiu-Jitsu: MMA's answer to the flea flicker and the "hidden ball trick."
"If you have any idea about any of the tricks, it's just not going to work, unless you're a complete idiot and fall for it." - Herman. Somewhere, Chael Sonnen quietly weeps.
"Maybe I should re-phrase it and just say, jiu-jitsu doesn't work on me." - Herman, as Jabba the Hutt to BJJ's the Force.
PART MAN, PART BULL, PART REPLACEMENT SURGERY
"I can't miss this opportunity to fight in Brazil. I've never fought in Brazil before in my entire career, my career of almost 40 fights." - Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. With each fight, Nogueira's face ages another year. (MMA Mania)
"I'm coming from three surgeries on my knees and hip, actually one on each leg and I worked much, much harder to speed up this recovery process." - Nogueira. A fourth surgery to remove the shell from Nogueira's back proved unsuccessful.
"Regardless of victory or loss, I believe I want to fight for five years and so I don't even begin to think about quitting." - Nogueira. The over/under on Nogueira fights in the next five years is set at 4.5, including his fight with Brendan Schaub. (Fighters Only)
"I went to the game and, after the game was over, I thought the series was over and that they had won, the way the people were acting. It was pretty crazy." - UFC President Dana White on attending a Stanley Cup Final game in Vancouver. Just wait until you see them lose! (Toronto Sun)
"And in my opinion, he's the greatest mixed martial artist ever. Ever, period." - White, finally
coming around on Fedor Emelianenko promoting Anderson Silva. (MMA Mania)
"Personally, I'd love to see, just because of the history -- which we all know about -- I would love to see Brett knock Josh out." - Tom Atencio, still upset about that whole "CSAC denied a license to Josh Barnett because he failed a drug test and, consequently, caused the collapse of an entire show" thing. (Affliction Video)
"There are so many guys in this weight class that I'd absolutely love to beat up and that I think I can put on a good show against. A lot of them happen to be ‘Ultimate Fighter' show guys." - Tim Boetsch, aiming for the top. (Sherdog)
"He's going to have a tube in his mouth, getting rushed to the hospital." - Jorge Masvidal, responding to K.J. Noons' proclamation that he was looking past Masvidal. (MMA Fighting)
"So, right now, I'm pretty much if you tell me Cain Velasquez and anybody to name on the other end of that roster, I would bet on Cain Velasquez." - Frank Mir (ESPN)