I FOUGHT THE LAW, AND THE LAW WON BY ARMBAR
"Chael Sonnen and the UFC have mutually decided that Chael will take some time off from his fight career to focus on the resolution of some personal issues." - Mike Roberts, manager of Chael Sonnen. Sonnen plead guilty to mortgage fraud that he committed in 2006. (MMA Fighting)
"Chael Sonnen has gone through a lot in the last few months and we think it's important for him to focus on getting his personal life together before focusing on his career in the UFC." - UFC President Dana White, who "froze" Sonnen's contract following the guilty plea. This is the first time the UFC has "disciplined" a fighter for conduct unrelated to fighting. Other actions not worthy of discipline: convictions for DUI (multiple, in some cases); reckless driving of a monster truck, fueled by energy-drink visions of religious figures; gang-jumping a fighter on national television; being implicated by a federal court of involvement in a steroid ring; punching a police officer... (TMZ)
"I spoke with Chael earlier today and he agrees that setting priorities in his life is the best thing for him right now. I sincerely hope Chael is able to straighten out his personal life." - White. Priority number one: don't get caught committing fraud involving financial institutions.
"HIPPA [sic] does not apply to the NSAC as we are not a medical provider. I have never spoken with Mr. Sonnen on any matter." - NSAC Executive Director Keith Kizer, addressing Sonnen's continued insistence that he and Kizer spoke about the issue of Testosterone Replacement Therapy. Sonnen alleged that Kizer was rendered unable to discuss the matter as a result of the Heath Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. (Cage Side Seats)
"He has informed me that he wants to fly to Las Vegas and explain to me why he thought he had the OK to use TRT in Nevada." - Kizer. I'd love a UStream feed of this meeting.
THE SONNEN ALSO RISES
"And what someone needs to explain to Brock is that deals go both ways -- you can't just take and not give back." - Chael Sonnen, addressing the rumors that former heavyweight champ and all-around Viking warrior Brock Lesnar has entertained the notion of performing at this year's Wrestlemania show. (MMA Live)
"Look, Vince McMahon may have been willing to forgive you, but Dana White will not." - Sonnen. Just ask fighters like Randy Couture and Tito Ortiz.
"On the other hand, If I got stomped out in three minutes by a guy who I outweighed by 50 pounds, I'd think about quitting, too." - Sonnen
"There's not a whole lot of guys who can beat Brock Lesnar. At the same time, there's never going to be a scenario where Brock Lesnar closes the gap that is insurmountable against Cain Velasquez." - Sonnen
LET'S HOPE STRIKEFORCE KEEPS THESE GUYS IN BACTA TANKS BETWEEN FIGHTS
"I had this in my back pocket." - Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker, after announcing the Strikeforce World Heavyweight Grand Prix tournament. Other things in Scott Coker's back pocket: multiple IOUs from Cung Le with promises to fight again, a flow chart for match making (the lone question: "Is it fun?"), and a business card with the date of Frank Shamrock's braces removal. (MMA Fighting)
"I believe they did it that way so that they can sell many pay-per-view subscriptions on the semifinals and on the finale." - Fabricio Werdum, who will meet Strikeforce champion Alistair Overeem in the first round of the tournament. The other first round matchups include Fedor Emelianenko vs. Antonio Silva, Josh Barnett vs. Brett Rogers, and Andrei Arlovski vs. Sergei Kharitonov. (Tatame)
"When Overeem puts his belt up, it would be a five-round bout. To make the tournament format fair to all eight fighters, plus the alternates, Strikeforce would like to make all tournament bouts five rounds. That is going to take some cooperation from athletic commissions." - Coker. Holy crap, five-round non-title fights might be a reality.
"Now I’m training a lot my bang but it still isn’t good for me to bang with him." - Fabricio Werdum, on fighting Overeem. God bless English translations.
"There are a lot of ifs and whens in the contract which are confidential, but essentially it's a four-fight deal." - Vadim Finkelstein, manager of Fedor Emelianenko. [Insert "In Soviet Russia..." joke here.] (USA Today)
"It kind of bugged me, only because we all fight, and just losing alone is humiliating enough. It's embarrassing." - Jon Jones, commenting on Thiago Silva's tactic of slapping, spanking, and drumming Brandon Vera at UFC 125. (MMA Fighting)
"Think about all the people who watched those fights. All (Brandon Vera) fans, all the members at his school, all the kids that look up to him. Man, it just kind of rubbed me the wrong way." - Jones. You know what rubs me the wrong way? Snitching out your peers for smoking weed.
"It's not something I would ever want done to me and it's not something I would ever do to someone else." - Jones, when asked about the UFC's decision to air a Phil Baroni fight twice in the same night.
"There's ways of looking for an opening besides playing pattycake on a guy's back." - Jones. Like a swift 12-to-6 elbow straight to the cranium, perhaps?
"They can’t wait around half a year for fights. It doesn’t offend me at all. When I’m ready, I’ll come back and fight." - UFC heavyweight champion Cain Velasquez, who is out 6-8 months with a severely torn rotator cuff. (MMA Weekly)
"He worked with Freddie 'The Joke Coach' Roach, and he telling me he has never see the stuff I'm showing him. So what does that tell you? Man, the only thing Freddie Roach can do better than me is wash my car." - Floyd Mayweather Sr., who has been training boxing with B.J. Penn. Not sure that "wash my car" is the best insult toward a guy suffering from Parkinson's. (Fight Hype)
"The way that things are going now, you don't (always) see the better fighter win. They play a game to win." - Nick Diaz, complaining about point-fighters and badly screwing up a Herm Edwards catch phrase. (USA Today)
"The truth is that Chris was sick. He had a fever and chills when he stepped into the cage. He was vomiting in the lockeroom before the fight, and after a hard warm up he didn't have a drop of sweat. Big heart to fight like that, but he was moving slow motion." - Chris Leben's coach Burton Richardson. Leben fought on New Year's Day. I'll let you fill in the blanks. (The Underground)
"In the name of Jesus I'm gonna leave [UFC 126] with a victory." - Vitor Belfort. No word on which deity Anderson Silva will be fighting for on February 5th.