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The Week in Quotes, August 9th-15th

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WAIT A SECOND, YOU AREN'T SUPERMAN?

"It's the first time I do 5 rounds in my life.  It's tough." - UFC Welterweight Champion Georges St. Pierre (UFC.com Video Center)

"After the 3rd round, I was looking at the clock. Jon Fitch, he never die.  I try to finish him many time." - St. Pierre, insinuating challenger Jon Fitch should be used as an extra in zombie movies

"My god, what am I going to have to do to beat this guy?" - St. Pierre

"It's discouraging."
- St. Pierre, on Fitch's resistance to being finished

The rest after the break.

WE HOPE SO TOO, JON

"It took me the whole first round to adjust to how fast he is." - Fitch, on what surprised him most about St. Pierre (UFC.com Video Center)

"I thought he'd be fast, but not that fast." - Fitch, hopefully not commenting on St. Pierre's performance in the bedroom

"I hope.  God, I hope so.  I was trying."
- Fitch, answering a question about whether or not he hurt St. Pierre

MAYBE HERRING THOUGHT HE WOULD BUST OUT THE F-5?

"We broke Heath Herring down.  That's the advantage we have in our camp.  Heath doesn't have any footage on me.  We had everything on him."
- Former WWE Superstar Brock Lesnar (UFC.com Video Center)

"I jumped back, I was stunned." - Lesnar, on the initial punch that knocked Heath Herring halfway across the Octagon

"That was for Heath's camp. I had the last laugh and the last words to say. I might've went a little overboard." - Lesnar, explaining his post fight antics (Yahoo)

"If I offended anybody then I'm sorry...uh, not really!"
- Lesnar, showing his quick wit

"A lot of people lose sight of the bottom line: this is a business. It’s about making dollars by selling tickets, Pay-Per-Views, and merchandise. It’s up to the promoter to decide what is televised. I just train hard, then get in the octagon and fight."
- Lesnar, showing a keen business acumen explaining why someone with his level of experience is in the co-main event (New York Times)

IF THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY DIDN'T PROVE IT...

"I've gotta be honest though, I was kinda bored with this match." - Former UFC Welterweight Champion Matt Hughes apparently not watching the same St. Pierre/Fitch fight as everyone else (MMA Shoot)

"Halfway in the third round, I got up and left the arena."
- Hughes, continuing to look like a jackass

"Well, I think GSP's last fight definitely takes him out of the running.  Anderson Silva's looking tough.  BJ Penn's always up there, he's tough."
- Hughes, convinced that dominating the clear #2 fighter in a division over 5 rounds isn't impressive

MY DINNER WITH RANDY

"We had a great breakfast and went out to dinner later that night." - WAMMA Heavyweight Champion Fedor Emelianenko, discussing his meeting with UFC Heavyweight Champion Randy Couture (Sherdog)

"We talked a little bit about everything" - Emelianenko (Sherdog)

"Certainly, one of the main topics was the possibility of having a fight together and the realities that we both face -- mainly that he [Couture] faces -– and whether the reality of having a fight can happen."
- Emelianenko, stating the obvious

"What I do is a sport.  If I meet Randy in the ring, I will meet him as a sportsman." - Emelianenko, when asked about the idea of making friends with Randy before fighting him

WELL, THE CAT'S OUT.  AND IT PISSED ON THE FLOOR AND SCRATCHED ALL THE FURNITURE.

"I don't want to let the cat out of the bag, but soon.  The next couple of month, we're hoping to get [MMA Live] on ESPN or ESPN 2, and the sponsors are getting on board as we speak, so we should have a deal very, very soon. We're all very pumped."
- Kenny Florian (MMA Junkie)

"Like the rest of us, our co-host and analyst Kenny Florian is very excited about 'MMA Live' -- the quality of the show, its hosts and the audience that it is building.  We are very energized about the place 'MMA Live' has in our growing 'Original Digital' lineup on ESPN.com, but there are no current plans for it to appear on any ESPN television networks in the future."
- ESPN Spokesmen Paul Melvin, apparently just as intimidating an opponent as B.J. Penn (MMA Junkie)

WELL AT LEAST HE DIDN'T HIT A PREGNANT WOMAN

"I love the kid, but I kinda wanna kill him. Everyone's telling me about this fasting thing, you know... As his trainer - me and Ray Longo - you'd think we'd be in the loop with it, but the guy didn't freakin' tell us anything."
- Former UFC Welterweight Champion Matt Serra, who apparently was the only person in the industry who didn't know about Luke Cummo fasting (TriStateFighter)

"So it's like, I'm in his corner, win or lose I'm gonna back the kid up. But, you saw, it wasn't a technical thing why he lost. He's just weak, man. He's weak because of all this stupid crap he's doin', man. Whatever the hell diet he's doin'. The kid should eat a steak if he wants to stay in that freakin' weight class, you know?"
- Serra, not exactly making his case for Trainer of the Year

OH, YEAH...THAT'S AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE

"I would fight anyone of the UFC lightweights..."
- DREAM Lightweight Champion Joachim Hansen (In the Guard)

"...but the problem is that I will never put my foot in the octagon after they (UFC) tried to be funny..." - Hansen, still being reasonable

"I would rather have bleeding hemorrhoids than fight for the UFC." - Hansen, making his case for Quote of the Year

WHITE NOISE


"I would go with Obama. He’s younger. Hillary Clinton might kick the shit out of both of them." - UFC President Dana White, on Obama vs. McCain in the Octagon and hopefully making the case for women's MMA in the UFC (Playboy via Figure Four Weekly)

"Corruption, fragmentation and greed killed boxing. When I started with the UFC I took all the shit I hated about boxing and changed it."
- White, apparently not knowing what the words "greed" and "fragmentation" mean

"That big-mouthed bitch, that clown. Back when he had the title, he refused to fight Chuck Liddell. He sat on the sidelines for a year and a half, crying, ‘Aww, I don’t have any money!" - White, sounding like an ex-girlfriend who refuses to let you go

"He’s not the best pound-for-pound fighter, not even close, but he’s one of the four or five best heavyweights." - White, on Fedor (Yahoo)

"But we all have to thank him for getting rid of Tim Sylvia. He’d been stinking out the joint the last couple of years and Fedor did everyone a favor by beating him so easily and getting rid of him."
- White, who may be surprising Tim Sylvia who has said he and the UFC are on "good terms"