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Rio Heroes Is Family Entertainment

By Luke Thomas

I seriously cannot believe people watch this fourth rate nonsense. And for all the talk about love of safety precautions, that seems to be jettisoned in favor of disarray and visceral images. MMA Analyst explains what happened in the most recent episode of this sad saga:

The card ended with a battle between William Vianna and Ivanilda "Cafu" Santos. After Cafu had an absolute war of a fight in his semifinal matchup, he had to take on a relatively fresh Vianna, which resulted in an epic ending that was scary for a moment. After Vianna took Cafu down, it looked as if Cafu hit his head on the cage and then was completely knocked out cold. After some awkward silence and Jorge Pereira, the referee of the event, freaking out about Cafu's motionlessness, they deemed Vianna the champ. An eventual replay determined that it looked like Cafu simply gasped for air, then passed out. He then vomited all over the mat. An unbelievable ending that I've never seen before.

I realize many of the fighters who compete for Rio Heroes are very legitimate. The problem is I don't care. A bootleg movie you can buy in the subway still has Tom Hanks in it. That doesn't mean I want to pay the degenerate who filmed it illegally on his home camera in some movie theater a dime for his troubles. Give it up, people. Are you that starved for something to do? Read a book for fuck's sake.

Pardon me if I'm overly skeptical of the safety precautions these people are taking before, during, and after fights. But I'm not supporting this endeavor. There are other, more productive things to do. I'm not sure if anyone's heard, but there's a presidential race going on...or something like that. Hell, maybe people could stop being ignorant about the fight game and actually go train. Wouldn't that be something?

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