FanPost

A Bloody Elbow Reimagining of, "American Pie" (Ode to Bellator)

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how that tourney used to make me smile
And I knew if Bjorn had a chance
That he would make those fighters dance
And maybe they'd be happy for a while

But Wednesday made me shiver
With every blog post I would quiver
Bad news on the front page
I couldn't take the fan rage.

I can't remember if I cried
When I read about Viacom's widowed bride
But something touched me deep inside
The day the tourney died

[Chorus]
So bye-bye, Mr Bjorn, what a guy
Point my mouse at Bloody Elbow, but the wit was so dry
And them good old fans drinkin' haterade with a rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies"

Did Bjorn write the book of fuck-ery
Do you have faith in the UFC
Because Uncle Dana tells you so?
Now do you believe in MMA
Or that Bjorn screwed over fighter pay
And did we teach him to run biz that way?

Well, I know you're not in love with him
'Cause I saw you smilin' to the brim
You and Dana kicked off your shoes
Man, you dig Bjorn's "I got fired blues"

He was a lonely, bald promotin' buck
With a good idea, but execution sucked
And he knew he was out of luck
The day the tourney died

[Chorus]
So bye-bye, Mr Bjorn, what a guy
Point my mouse at Bloody Elbow, but the wit was so dry
And them good old fans drinkin' haterade with a rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies"

Now for ten years he's been on his own
And debt grows fat on a borin' stone
But that's not how it 'sposed to be
When Bjorn told Spike what he'd bring
In a coat he borrowed from Don King
And a voice that came from you and me

Oh, and while the Bjorn was looking down
Spike TV they stole his thorny crown
The courtroom was adjourned
Coker's in and Bjorn was burned

And while Dana flew with Iron Mike
Bjorn was getting fucked by Spike
So I just wrote a fanpost like,
"The day the tourney died"

[Chorus]
So bye-bye, Mr Bjorn, what a guy
Point my mouse at Bloody Elbow, but the wit was so dry
And them good old fans drinkin' haterade with a rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies"

Oh, and there we were all in one site
A generation lost in spite
With no time left for Bellator
So come on, Bjorn be nimble, Bjorn be quick
Fans are all fed up with your schtick
And they don't want you anymore

Oh, and as I read him on the page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
Spike execs born in Hell
Came and broke ol' Bjorny's spell

And as the flaming climbed high in the posts
To light up poor Bjorn the most
I saw McCay laughing with some boasts
The day the tourney died

He was singing bye-bye, Mr Bjorn, what a guy
Point my mouse at Bloody Elbow, but the wit was so dry
And them good old fans drinkin' haterade with a rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies"

[Outro]
I met not one fan who sang the blues
They all think it's happy news
So I just smile and turn away
I navigated to my sacred site
Where I'd read 'bout the tourney wrapped in spite
But Nate Wil said the tourney wouldn't play

And in the streets, the haters screamed
Two people cried and the purists dreamed
But not a word was spoken
Bellator's bells all were broken

And the three men I admire most
Dana, GSP and Chuck Liddell's Ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the tourney died

And they were singin' bye-bye, Mr Bjorn, what a guy
Point my mouse at Bloody Elbow, but the wit was so dry
And them good old fans drinkin' haterade with a rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies"

[Chorus]
They were singin', bye bye Mr Bjorn, what a guy
Point my mouse at Bloody Elbow, but the wit was so dry
And them good old fans drinkin' haterade with a rye
Singin' "This'll be the day that he dies
This'll be the day that he dies"

\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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