Chael Sonnen examines UFO's, aliens in an effort to start campaign for pardon, then presidency

USA TODAY Sports

After examining the possibility of extraterrestrial life on Earth, Sonnen lays out a plan to become POTUS.

Former multi-division contender Chael Sonnen just headed out to Brazil to get set up for his coaching slot the upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter: Brazil. In the third season of the reality series in Brazil, Sonnen will coach his team against the team of rival Wanderlei Silva. In the show's finale, the two will meet in a UFC Light Heavyweight bout.

But, that's not the topic currently on Sonnen's mind. Instead, the "American Gangster" is focused on a far more pressing issue - aliens. In an article posted on Fox Sports.com, Sonnen tackled the different issues surrounding extraterrestrial activity.

First up, the Roswell, NM UFO's from 1947 cover up:

There is NO physical evidence, NO credible supporting witnesses (this event happened in BROAD DAYLIGHT, near an AIRPORT), NO metallic craft that then went on to land, or be observed, anywhere, by anyone, and NO SOUND, RATIONAL REASON to contend, or believe, that Kenneth Arnold witnessed a cadre of mysterious, intelligently-piloted craft from another world beyond the stars that day in 1947 in the Pacific Northwest United States, bordering Russia

He moved on to a supposed government-backed coverup:

Well, if they are advanced enough to GET here, either through time (a LOOOONG time), or interdimensionally (extremely unlikely, but still more probable), then they don't NEED Uncle Sam's permission to do ANYTHING, thank you ever so much.

And he rounded it up with a look at abductions and anal probes:

And the level of abductee-related experimentation is so crude as to be laughable if it wasn't so vile; how many asses do they really need to probe? And why are they so hung up on the ass? You never hear about them examining anybody's ears, or nostrils, or hands. It's always the ass.

Aliens from another world, flesh-and-blood creatures, do NOT exist on Earth. There is not a scrap of evidence to support the idea that they exist. Not one. And if they took the time, energy, and effort to get here, they'd do more when they landed than skulk around in the dark and mess with people's asses.

Following his debunking of these popular alien theories, Sonnen moved on to his larger point. Sonnen stipulates that there is indeed something going on and he intends to get to the bottom of it. To do so, he plans to run for presidency: To gain his POTUS goals, Sonnen lays out a plan which involves some fan help:

1) All of you fellow truth-seekers. Harness the power of the Internet. Start a grassroots movement, an online petition, to get me, your fellow UFO researcher, a FULL and UNCONDITIONAL PARDON.

2) Once we get that minor detail handled, I can go ahead and get elected President.

3) I will appoint Joe Rogan as my Vice-President (I will run alone, since my brilliance and charisma cannot be supported by a mere standup comic, no matter how hard he tries, or how much DMT he shovels into his head)

4) I will appoint Sarah Palin as my head of Homeland Security, with a particular emphasis on our land-borders with Russia, China, and India.

I will then "sic" them, like two ravenous Presa Canarios, on the phenomenon of UFOs, with a blank-check budget.

So, there it is. Sonnen intends to gain the White House and will commit everything to researching the inexplicable.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Bloody Elbow

You must be a member of Bloody Elbow to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bloody Elbow. You should read them.

Join Bloody Elbow

You must be a member of Bloody Elbow to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Bloody Elbow. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_5349_tracker