FanPost

How I knew Anderson Silva would loose

So on Sunday there was this fight between an All AMERICAN wrestler, his name is Chris Weidman - and he was fighting this guy called Anderson 'A Spider" Silva.. a really old Brazillian guy who I thought noone knew about, because I get most of my information from sources who frequent dark alleys - but the main point is that there was a fight, between these two guys.

Now, most people before the fight were saying things like "Anderson is da best, he's going to curbstomp this Christ Whiteman guy" but I knew better, I knew in my head n my hart that Anderson Silva was the most overated piece of crap in the history of craps.. which is a long, brown history.. full of craps and such I guess.

I went to a pub to watch the fight and there were so many stupid people there saying Anderson would win, but they didn't know like I did that once in this ancient place called Japans that some small Asian guy made Andersun Silva cry out in pain by tweaking on his leg like a really long nipple, so in reality - this proves that he is really overated.. also once he did a flying knee into some guys head, in ancient Japan, but this guy had a really sweet affro which absorbed the shock completely and proved once and for all that Anderson Silva can't even knee hard enough for the power to transfer through sweet affros.. definitely another sign of overatted-ness, but Japan is like this really old, weird place so maybe the humidity caused the affro to be more volutpuous or something.. so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.. science might have the answer but I'll leave god to figure that one out.

But anyway, before the fight started, I saw this guy wearing the exact same tapout shirt that I once saw another guy wearing at my all male bathhouse - I tried to give that guy at the bath house this huge bratwurst I had in my locker as a token of friendship, but he told me to fuck off, so I assumed he was another Anderson Silva nutthugger, but anyway - this other guy who had the same shirt was standing there with his arms crossed before the fight started, and I walked up and was like "Hey, what round do you think Anderson will be most overated in? I'm thinking the 1st round" and he was like "What the hell are you talking about guy..?" - he was so butthurt that I obviously knew the inner secrets of Anderson Silvas overattedness, I was all in his business like no mans gravy.

I gave him so many astute observations on why Andreson 'A Silva' Spider was not as goood as people thought he was - from Travis Luter dominating him on the flat part of the cage, to when Stephan Boner had him pinned against the fence and was just tee-ing off on his face area - all the good stuff was there. This guy tried to walk away while I was dropping my truth bombs all over his forehead, but I didn't let him - I just kept on following him, highlighting how Vitor Belfort got Anderson to play right into his foot fetish, but then all of a sudden, quite predictably, Chris Weidman used his K1 level striking to KO Andre-son "the Giant spiderweb" by setting up a technically brilliant left hook with what appeared to be a back-handed right.. something.. come to think of it, that right hand that Whiteman used to setup the left pirateshand looked heaps like something a person would do when brushing a spider off the windscreen of their Ford pinto, so it's really quite apt if you analise it with your brain and relate the spider on the windscreen to Andrewson Saliva.

So yeah, just thought everyone on the internet, particularly this site, would like to know how right I always was about Anderson Silva, from many undocumented conversations I had with not only myself, but people who were trying not to listen or acknowledge my presents to the overwhelming evidence in the lead up to this fight.. people just don't seem to realise that his only good wins were against a shot Chris Lebeman and Rich Franklin, who had to spend his free time teaching mathematics to poor ethnic kids to make enough money to support being bad at MMA.. hell, even Anderspiders performance on dancing with the stars with Demian Maia, who I think is like Celine Dion but in Brazil, was really bad - the choreography sucked and Maia seemed so uninterested and had no sense of rythm, and I think that logically it's because everyone knew it was a waste of time and that dancing is just a way for the devil to loosen your pants..

But yeah, to summarise, everyone is stupid and Anderson Silva should go back to working at Burger King, which I think is like a sandwich shop, in Fortaleza.

\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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