ARE YOUR ANUSES PREPARED, FUCKOS? We've got three straight weeks of mayhem, and then a fourth consecutive fucking week to kick off season 6! I'm so excited I could poop. Here's what's what, bitches:
A MESSAGE FROM WONDERFULSPAM, WARDEN OF THE NORTH:
Earl's post-event recap will have the official sign-up for ALL new AND returning players. YOU MUST FOLLOW EARL'S DIRECTIONS AND SIGN UP OR YOU WILL NOT BE ELIGIBLE FOR SEASON 6. DO NOT PLAY STUPID. Captains, please relay this message to your teams.
SO YOU WANNA BE A FUKKEN BECW CAPTAIN?
It's not... okay, actually, it's pretty fucking easy, I mean, shit, I do it and I'm so fucked up that I hallucinate imaginary Steph Daniels articles and then bitch at real, non-imaginary Steph Daniels about imaginary articles.
Here's the current list of captains for Season 6, as of today:
- Violent Newt, season 4 runner-up
- Paulo Filho's Psychiatrist, season 3/4 champion
- Ron Swanson
- Josh Hall
- Sugel Mendoza
- Andy Anderson (and his Team Teamersons)
- John Danaher's Hair, Original Motherfucking Commissioner and Hairlord
- Lanky6, Hopeless Captain
That leaves one opening for one of you intrepid fucks to step up and get shitkicked by me. DO IT.
THE FUKKEN SEMIFINALS
#1 Bloody Elbes vs #5 We Came to Pick, They Came to Grapple
#7 Bob Sapp's Bushido Spirit vs #3 The Bjorn Ultimatum
THE GOSHDARN CONSOLATION BRACKET
#8 I Can't Believe It's Not Horsemeat! vs #4 Birds of War
#2 Dana White's Bail Bonds vs #6 Fukers
THE... UM, THE BLAND PRIX ROUND 2
Tim Kennedy Thread Survivors vs TACOCOWS
Leonard Garcia's Picking Accuracy vs Legion of Lurkers
THE FOLLOWING ASSCLOWNS FORGOT THEIR PICKS
LOOK HERE FOR THE SPREADSHEET
THIS SONG MAKES ME WANT TO RUN THROUGH A GODDAMN BRICK WALL
FUCK IT, OVERPLAYED MEME TIME