UN conspiracy involving 2nd H-Bomb in MMA - Possessed by rogue Samoan



(The day they nuked Holland)

Dear El Boners,

As well rounded and savvy MMA enthusiasts, I felt it my duty to share information I have come across in relation to the #RallyforMarkHunt, the importance of which may be immeasurable.

Recently, an ex colleague who now works at the UN tipped me off that there may have been a secret initiative taking place in terms of tracking so called Weapons of Mass Destruction, being moved around the world and used in plain sight under the guise of "Mixed Martial Arts" and the "fighters" who take part in it.

Initially I was skeptical of course, the idea that an MMA fighter might have something to do with the proliferation of atomic weapons was just insane, although when I was told that the first informant who had been secretly called in by the UN under their covert 'WMDs in MMA' operation was Mauro Ranallo, it did get me thinking.



(Ranallo gives evidence to the UN special committee on WMD's.)

It was Ranallo after all, who coined the term 'H-Bomb' when referring to Dan Henderson, but surely this was just hyperbole or at best metaphor? Well maybe not.

From my ex-colleague, I found out that the UN were so concerned about what they were now taking seriously as a threat to world security (in the form of what they were calling Codename:'Hendo H-Bomb') that they mounted a special interception operation to deal with the threat.

From their initial studies, they now suspected that the H-Bomb had been deployed on a number of occasions, none more spectacularly than on a representative of one of their ally nations :



(Hendo unleashes 'H-Bomb' on Britain.)

To ensure that there was no repeat of this, the UN sanctioned an operation to diffuse the H-Bomb by arranging for Henderson to be taken out of action (shortly before a title fight with current UFC Champion Jon Jones). This would be masked as a knee injury, but would in actuality be a special ops mission to kidnap Hendo and while anaesthetised, implant a chip into his brain that would permanently retro-grade his movement, by severing the connection between his feet and his brain, at the location in his cerebrum as marked below, the area labelled 'Brein'.



This ensured that Henderson could no longer position himself to fire the H-Bomb, as was evidenced in subsequent battle with Brazillian-Japanese forces at UFC 157. The operation was considered a success, though whether permanently so, perhaps only time will tell.

Things took a turn for the sinister when I received another tip off (again from the same source) that a new phase of operations was being planned, this after the UN had become concerned about a spike in 'virtual' radioactivity levels (their way of apparently tracking these new WMD's) in Japan following a recent UFC event. As such I was advised that they were bringing Hans Blix out of retirement to investigate none other than former K1 Grand Prix champion and Pride standout Mark Hunt, apparently to assess whether or not he was in possession of his own form of the H-Bomb, being codenamed:'H-Bomb 2.0' (they're not that creative at the UN).



(A recent image of Blix.)

In an effort to stop further deployments of the H-Bomb 2.0, Blix has apparently met in secret with none other than Dana White. Although no record exists of any such meeting, The Army Of Doom counter intelligence unit were able to get hold of this photo of White meeting with an undercover operative to confirm plans had been made to stop Hunt from deploying the H-Bomb 2.0.



(White meeting in secret with UN undercover agent codename:'Charlie'.)

We therefore believe that White, working in cooperation with the UN, is attempting to subvert future opportunities for Hunt to share his devastating power with the rest of the world. There is only one solution, as this is an undercover operation, White will only be in a position to deny the latest Hunt salvo (as proposed against a Brazilian fighter; Junior Dos Santos) if he can say that it is not in the public or fan interest. It is therefore up to the supporters of freedom and thermonuclear MMA to convince him otherwise.

This is all I have at the present time, should any more info come to light then of course I will share it with you, but if you see Hans Blix at any forthcoming UFC events, or at large in Australasia, then you will know what this means.

Over to you... Dear friends.... We cannot allow these dark forces of oppression to triumph when so much is at stake.


\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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