FanPost

BECW S7 Semis: 25 minutes of agressive cuddling edition

NI HAO, NAMBLA FUNDRAISERS. I'm PFP, this is BECW, LETS MUTHERFUKERS.

LIKE Y'ALL MUTHERFUKERS DUNNO THIS SHIT ALREADY

Main Card:
Johny Hendricks (170) vs. Georges St-Pierre (170)
Chael Sonnen (206) vs. Rashad Evans (205)
Rory MacDonald (171) vs. Robbie Lawler (170)
Tyron Woodley (171) vs. Josh Koscheck (170)
Tim Elliott (125) vs. Ali Bagautinov (126)

Preliminary Card:
Evan Dunham (156) vs. Donald Cerrone (155)
Thales Leites (186) vs. Ed Herman (186)
Rick Story (170) vs. Brian Ebersole (171)
Erik Perez (135) vs. Edwin Figueroa (135)
Anthony Lapsley (170) vs. Jason High (170)
Sergio Pettis (135) vs. Will Campuzano (135)
Gian Villante (205) vs. Cody Donovan (205)

BECW-relevant notes: Underdog bonuses for Lawler, Figueroa, Campuzano, Lapsley, and Donovan; hot bout is Elliot-AliB. Potential points bonuses to steal on a bunch of those if you ask me. Campu, Lawler and Donovan all have much better chances of winning it than the few brave souls who picked them would imply.

OKAY HERE'S THE SHIT YOU ACTUALLY WANTED ME TO TALK ABOUT

#1 Disrespectful Pieces of Shit (7-1) vs #4 Wanderlei Industries (5-3)

KATBEAST reverted back to KatGirl last night, but it ended up not mattering because pretty much everyone else on the team dropped some solid scores, plus bullshit late-season replacement (like I have any room to talk) Tom Vale's gif-fueled insanity led to 86 points and 6th overall on PG. Nice work, you demented wombatfucker. KATBEAST will need to make a return as they're going up against Epic Captain OBP (he's like a free top 3 rounds pick!) and BECW GOAT Swiftman (Sorry JDH, you done been replaced) and the DPOS, which has a pants-shitting FOUR former captains. Really, unless Swanson, Kat and Vale all have great days or Clay Davis just decides to miss picks again for no good reason, this is more one-sided than a stripper with a mastectomy.

#7 Marcu$' Mr Men (4-4, 0 name choices, 0 fucks given) vs #6 209 Excuse Factory (4-4, 0 press conference appearances)

Some teams just want to watch the world burn. The #2 and 3 seeds were upset by new Shittiest Captain Ever candidate Marcu$' unnamed team and the eighth Diaz-related team name thus far, respectively. I will refrain from talking any more shit about Newt's team just because they at least PICKED A GODDAMN TEAM NAME. Anyways, the Bullshit Production Team had a pretty awesome score last week, whereas IT'S A FUCKING TEAM NAME YOU DOLT JESUS FUCK THIS IS NOT ROCKET SURGERY squeaked by last week primarily due to Soog and company shitting the bed. Body Triangle has reverted back to shit form, butthe rest of the team has been pretty consistent, whereas EVEN TIM BURKE NAMED HIS TEAM has just squeaked by on a few good scores and lucky matchups. ANDY ANDERSON HAD TWO DIFFERENT TEAM NAMES FUCK'S SAKE has former #1 pick Detroit Drew, and everyone's favorite moped aficionado always brings it during the playoffs, so who the fuck knows?

AS ALWAYS, NO DESCRIPTIONS FOR LOSERS

Consolation Bracket:

#8 Altered Mental State Athletic Commission (2-6) vs #5 Stupid-ass Flying Knee (4-4)

#2 Picking You Like Candy (6-2) vs #3 Viacommunists (5-3)

Bland Prix:

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via cdn0.sbnation.com

I have no idea who plays who in the Bland Prix, NO TIME FOR LOSERS MUTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAAS

YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE FIGHTS AND GAMES, SO WE PUT A GAME IN YO GAME IN YO FIGHTS SO YOU CAN FIGHT WHILE YOU GAME WHILE YOU WATCH FIGHTS

Here, have a spreadsheet

SEASON 8 TALK

If you wanna captain next season, send an email to gmail@becivilwar.com (figure it out, fucktards) with the subject CAPTAIN. If you don't really want to but are kinda sorta willing to step up for the greater good, send an email with the subject MAYBE CAPTAIN. We need to get rolling on this so I guess I'm actually taking initiative and shit.

COMPLETELY UNRELATED TALK

(Really, this is why I do these. Just so I can babble to you guys.) So I've moved into civilization. I don't drive an hour each way to and from work anymore. I have real internets. I missed the internet, guys! A lot. It's been legit three and a half years since I didn't have a draconian download cap, and sweet jesus you cannot imagine how hard gaming sucks with ping times over 3 seconds. Anyways, so I need some fools to game with. Glorious PC gaming master race, this is for you.

-What're you guys playing that I should totally play?

-Add me on Origin/Steam! My username on both is Dudepuncher. I also play MWO (username there is Cletus Davion) and Hawken (Again, Dudepuncher.)

-Anybody else psyched for Titanfall? Ish looks bananas.

AS ALWAYS

LETS MUTHERFUKERS.

\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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