Much to the dismay of everyone, the first playoff event of this season of the BECW kicked off last Saturday with UFC Fight Night: Belfort vs. Henderson in the third Brazilian WTF event of the season. And while Vitor Belfort notched up his third consecutive head kick knockout victory, 4 teams moved on to the semi-final round while 4 other teams have been sent to rethink where their lives went horribly wrong. Existential crises aside, I got some numbers for you, which I'm sure you ungrateful jerks have been waiting for, so cut that bitching out and scroll down.
Individual scores, UFN 32
|3||#113 Careful Icarus||83|
|5||(C) Our Bovine Public||71|
|11||#20 sun yue||67|
|11||#117 It's Always Raining In Negadelphia||67|
|15||(C) Ron Swanson||65|
|15||#33 Pat Tzu||65|
|19||#27 Sweet Scientist||64|
The swiftman cometh for the playoffs, as he ended up placing 3rd overall on MMAPlayground for this event. Props to Australian straight jacket enthusiast, tomvale13 and Careful Icarus for placing 6th and 9th, respectively on PG. Afrotikiman rose from the dark lands of the banned to post up the 4th highest score, while Captain, OBP and #1 overall pick, Shawn91111111111111111111111 share the 5th spot.
Individual scores, Overall
|2||#113 Careful Icarus||536||+1|
|5||#33 Pat Tzu||508||+7|
|11||(C) Sugel Mendoza||492||-3|
|15||#4 Patrick Wyman||489||+8|
|16||#9 John Danaher's Hair||486||-2|
|19||#44 king of the dogs||480||-3|
Swiftman's performance allowed him to leapfrog 2 spots to the coveted #1 spot for the season. Can he keep up his high scores enough for him to finish #1 overall once again? Will the precocious Careful Icarus, only 5 spots behind him, steal the MVP award from him? Will it be the wily veteran, ShawnManyNumbers, who pulls a trick up his sleeve to take the individual championship for himself? Will an unlikely hero emerge from the field? Will someone out of the top 20 bitch about not having their ranking shown because they suck too much? Are these questions annoying as fuck? These questions and many more will unravel in the next two events.
Grand Prix Playoffs Event 1 Standings
The Disrespectful Pieces of Shit keep on rolling, assisted by the BECW leading 88 points put up by Swiftman, as well as the 71 by captain, OBP and the efforts of some other role players. AMSAC was lead by Careful Icarus, who put up a valiant effort that was basically negated by Tim Burke's black hole of suck. Wanderlei Industries had the highest scoring total of the event, which was certainly due to the 8 players they had scoring above average, with tomvale13's 86 being the highest of all. Stupid-Ass Flying Knee turned out to make some stupid-ass picks, getting outscored by 106 points.
Marcu$'s Mr. Men, while unable to either pick a fucking name or clinch a playoff spot until the last event of the regular season, upset the #2 seeded Picking You Like Candy. Fuck you Marcu$. PYLC had a Grand Prix-low 508 points as they fell to the Mr. Men, who only had 5 players above average for the event, all of whom will can go fuck themselves. Meanwhile, Dave Strummer goes another season without a BECW Championship and I will curse Marcu$ for the rest of his BECW days. The 209 Excuse Factory had help all around their team, with 9 players above average, as Newt bested rookie captain, Hayabusa2000, who put up an admirable effort in his first campaign as a captain. I think I speak for the other captains when I say: may your future days as a captain be one heartbreaking failure after another. Did I mention, fuck Marcu$?
Grand Prix Bracket and Semifinal Round
DPOS and WI will meet in an epic clash that I don't give a shit about. I hope this shit ends in a tie.
Violent Newt reps the 209 against Marcu$'s Mr. Men, who I hope the same kind of failure that James Krause felt after his phantom dick kick flop.
In a battle between insanity and hideousness, PFP's AMSAC takes on Josh Hall and the team name that isn't as good as his last one. On the other side, I lead my Picking You Like Candy against the Viacommunists in a battle between good and evil that the Commies are not on the evil side of.
The search for the worst of the worst continues, as the Bland Prix sees the Tristars ride their tricycles to battle against the Bitch-Ass Lady Sounds, who have been making a lot of their name sake this season. Andy's Asshole Assortments, eternally butthurt, go head to head against the Tears of the Shogun, led by the King of the Crybabies and Tzar of Terrible Taste, SPA.
For Anyone Who Bothers Reading This Far Down...
The Spreadsheet for this event is right here. Use it to check your individual score for this event and shit. Or not, whatever, it's not like I'm getting paid for this shit.
The next event of the BECW is this Saturday, so if you want to return for next season, make your picks or you more than likely won't. And if you're in the Grand Prix and miss picks, you will be mocked for the rest of your days and be cursed by your teammates. Unless you're in Marcu$'s team, then by all means, don't make your picks.