GREETINGS FRIENDS AND FOES ALIKE. I HAVE AN URGENT MESSAGE AND REQUEST FROM ALL OF YOU. WHO WOULD WANT DANA WHITE REPLACED? WOULD YOU WANT SCOTT COKER OR BJORN REBNEY INSTEAD? NO, SCOTT COKER CANNOT MAKE UP HIS MIND AND WANTS TO MAKE FUN FIGHTS THAT END UP BEING NO FUN, WHILE BJORN REBNEY IS SLIMIER THAN A SLUG IN A JAR OF VASELINE. YOU KNOW WHO THE REAL MAN FOR THE JOB IS! ANDY 'CEREBRAL BALLSY' ANDERSON. THESE ARE HIS QUALIFICATIONS

- HE IS CURRENTLY A MBA STUDENT WITH A BACHELORS IN PHILOSOPHY (MR. WHITE DID NOT EVEN LAST THROUGH ONE SEMESTER OF COLLEGE)

- HAS COLLEGIATE WRESTLING EXPERIENCE

- HE WILL CONTINUE TRAINING BOTH JIU JITSU AND MMA AS WELL AS PURSUING A CAREER IN MMA. (PEOPLE COMPLAIN ABOUT PROMOTERS TRYING TO BE BIGGER THAN FIGHTES, BUT ANDY ANDERSON WILL BE BOTH)

-HE WILL BRING BACK PRIDE RULES (PLUS ELBOWS)

-HE WILL BRING BACK THE BLUE WEC CAGE

- HE WILL OFFER BOTH THE NYS GOVERNMENT AND THE LAS VEGAS CULINARY UNION A STAKE IN ZUFFA. (IT GOT A FIGHT IN ABU DHABI, IT WILL GET A FIGHT IN MSG)

-HE WILL MAKE ALL THE SUPERFIGHTS HAPPEN ON THE SAME NIGHT (AS WELL AS JOHNNY HENDRICKS' AND CHRIS WEIDMAN'S AND DAN HENDRSON'S LONG OVERDUE TITLE SHOTS AGAINST GEORGES ST. PIERRE, ANDERSON SILVA AND JON JONES AS WELL AS THE TITLE HOLDERS OWN FIGHTS AGAINST ONE ANOTHER [JON JONES IS GONNA HAVE A LONG NIGHT OF BLESSING THE FANS])

-HE WILL GET NON-EXCLUSIVE BROADCAST DEALS WITH MULTIPLE NETWORKS TO GET UFC BROADCAST ON EVERY SINGLE CHANNEL IN THE WORLD. NO FIGHTS ON FUEL SEEN BY 12 PEOPLE EVER AGAIN

-HE WILL BUY VIACOM THUS ENDING THE SLIMEY REIGN OF THE SON OF WINNEBAGO MAN

-HE WILL HAVE BETTER OVERSIGHT OF ATHLETE BEHAVIOR THAN MERELY MATT HUGHES

-HE WILL GIVE MARK HUNT WILL GET THE TITLE SHOT HE RIGHTFULLY DESERVES

-HE WILL MAKE A DEAL WITH VLADIMIR PUTIN TO ENTICE FEDOR EMILIANENKO TO COME OUT OF RETIREMENT TO FIGHT AT 205 LBS

-HE WILL FORCE BOB SAPP TO RETIRE

-HE WILL TAKE FAN SUGGESTIONS FOR MATCHMAKING

-HE WILL MAKE MMA AND THE UFC BIGGER THAN LIFE ITSELF!

SO IN SHORT, YOU ARE COMPELLED AS A FAN TO SUPPORT ANDY ANDERSON IN MAKING ALL OF YOUR WILDEST DREAMS COME TRUE

LETS MUTHERFUKERS