Holy shit, everyone, it's finally here. Are you excited? If not, you should probably check your pulse, you could be dead. "But how does a cadaver check their pulse?" you might ask.yourself. I don't fucking know, how do they ask themselves anything either? You're not dead, you're just a jerk. Anyways, the best MMA fantasy game in the history of ever is about to kick off its fifth season with one of the greatest spectacles the BE community can ever be involved with, the chaotic clusterfuck that can best be simply described as draft time. If you don't believe me about how awesome this competition is, just check out what these people may or may not have had to say!
- Jon Fitch - "Why are you in my bedroom at 3am? Your contest is great, now please leave."
- Paulo Filho - "Get out of my head!"
- Randy Couture just rambled on for five minutes and never really made up his mind.
- Shane Carwin - "That web site sucks."
- James Toney - [inaudible]
- BJ Penn - "BJPENN.com!"
- Vitor Belfort - "If a question is private, I have the choice to answer or not. If I make it public, it's not private anymore. If I want to say something private I will say it, but I keep to myself and I respect the laws of the BECW."
- When I attempted to contact Lloyd Irvin through Facebook he deleted my comment.
- Cory Braiterman - "I miss all the wonderful shenanigans that went on when these guys were still a part of the front page live posts. My love for the BECW is like the finish on a finely coated non-stick pan."
- BVandDietPepsi - [comment hidden]
- Commander Shepard - "I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite fantasy sports game on the Internet."
- I also tried to reach out to Bellator fighters but was threatened by a lawsuit before I even crossed the street towards Bjorn's office.
The draft is going to kick off at 3 PM EST today. Anyone in the BECW can feel free to jump into the comments and join in on the inevitable trainwreck this will turn into, and wait to see which team they'll be representing this season. People not in the BECW can comment too (Hi moll!), I just don't really know why you would. But fuck it. Be a rebel.
HERE'S WHAT CAPTAINS NEED TO DO! By 2:45 EST, 15 minutes before the start of the draft, respond to my first comment below in order to take attendance and make sure we're all ready. Make sure you have your draft sheet prepared as well! And get rid of people on your list once they've been drafted so that your tiny little brains won't get confused and draft inadvertentgroinstrike for the third time or whatever other complete failure you can muster up. When making a pick, put 'OFFICIAL PICK' in capital letters in the subject line so that we can sort through the mess easier. Expect a lot of comments to flow in continuously throughout this, use shift+A to unmark all comments, and always know the person who's picking before you in order to expedite this process. Andy Davis will not be here but has sent an autodraft sheet that Spam will manage.
WHAT OTHER PLAYERS CAN DO! I'm sure 80% of you fucks won't even read this, let alone listen to me, but try to refrain from using the subject line when you comment so that we can keep official picks separate from all the other chatter. It would be a huge help. You can also follow along with the draft by visiting this link for a Google Doc Spreadsheet. Picks will be listed by team on the first sheet, alphabetically by player on the second, and numerically by pick number on the third.
You know, of the four BECW seasons already completed, I honestly think this one is going to be the best. We have a shit-ton of rivalries that should keep things interesting all the way throughout the war. In one division we have the battle of the Alamo with new captains Brendao and Sugel, as well as a revenge story as Newt will try to stop PFP from achieving what would be an amazing 3-peat. Family will pick up their bayonets in spite of each other as cousins gxc and POW will duel in the next division along with Andy Davis and RonSwanson. Three new captains, and POW who had a remarkable first-place finish for the regular season of BECW4 followed by a last place Bob Sapp-esque effort in the following Grand Prix. Finally, we have a British division that if TC doesn't get drafted to, will be a monumental failure. New rivals lanky and ScorecardOTN look to continue their abysmal trash-talking while OBP solely focuses on not vomiting from all the alcohol he ingested, and forkboy puts aside his pacifism temporarily for battle - but only defensively - he refuses to invade any other teams. THAT REMINDS ME, WE STILL NEED SUGGESTIONS FOR DIVISION NAMES, DAMMIT.
For the individual players there's plenty of stuff to watch out for as well. Will someone be dumb enough to trust MDH and draft him in the 1st round again based on his great season 4? Can swiftman become an MVP in THREE STRAIGHT SEASONS!? Can Drew get back on track? Which one of the rookies will emerge from the shadows? Will PFP ever be good at making picks? Will any of the brave souls from here who entered the Mania pool leave victorious? No, maybe, probably, alxn, fuck no, probably not. But I could be wrong, so you might as well hang out and see what happens for yourself.
After the draft is over, we'll give the captains the info on how to collect their team's email addresses, so be sure to check your mail once this wraps up. Alcohol is mandatory. Every GIF you post will result in a -5 total added to your score to start the season, unless it's really fucking clever and/or funny. That means I do not need to see your god damned Citizen Kane gif for the thousandth time. But if someone drafts magaca in the first round, feel free to follow it up with something like this. I'll spare TC that great joy he loves to partake in and tell you guys myself, BE rules still apply, so try not to explicitly explain how you will fornicate with our mothers and stuff. Let's see if we can get through one event at least without someone getting banned. While you wait, for your reading pleasure, the BECW3 draft post. On that note, let us commence the first of many bloody battles that lie ahead. See you on the other side.