Dear Mr. White-
Your blunt honesty has always been a trait that has set you apart from the commissioners of most other sports. You have shown us all the versatility of the word "fuck", and you have never hesitated to let us know when someone is "in the mix". We all saw your raw emotion when you had to announce that UFC 151 was canceled, and we all respected you for stepping up to face the crowd and admit that you were wrong for putting on a card with only one fight worth purchasing. The way that you took responsibility for the debacle that occurred showed how you have matured with age.
Except that didn't happen. You did the logical thing, and blamed your own Light heavyweight champion Jon Jones. The very man that the UFC sponsors, and looks to be the face of the company for the next decade. I can only assume this means that you allowed Jones to handle the booking of this card, and he needed to be chastised publicly for failing to put together a solid event that could withstand his withdrawal from the event due to
injury illness telephone poles not wanting to fight Chael Sonnen on short notice. After all, you wouldn't blame him without just cause, right?
I see that after your recent interview with Ariel Helwani that you stand by everything you said about Jones. In the heat of the moment you ripped your champion to shreds, and after days of quiet reflection, you feel the exact same way. You did do a good job of defending Jones' actions, though, by explaining that he is merely getting all the stupid behavior out of his system now while he is young, and he will have matured by his thirties, just like you. A forty three year old man that will throw one of his biggest stars under the bus rather than admit that the card was nowhere near PPV quality.
I know it has been a rough week for you, so I will wrap this soon, but there is something else I simply have to address. When asked about the rumors that Jones had called you and asked you to make Chael stop picking on him, you answered with this gem:
I don't think so. I don't believe so, no. I honestly don't remember if he did, but I don't think Jon called me to have Chael stop talking about him.
There is no nice way to put it, so I'm just going to be bluntly honest. This is he worst fucking answer to any question, ever. All an answer like this does is make you sound like a liar, and one of your most dominant champions look like a coward. You don't believe so? You honestly don't remember? I'm pretty sure if Jon Jones called me to complain that Chael was picking on him, I would be laughing about that for weeks. That isn't the kind of thing you forget. Your fans are not idiots, but it doesn't take a smart person to see through that laughable excuse for an answer.
If you are still reading at this point, you hopefully don't hate me too much, and I want you to know you can still fix the situation. Its not too late. I mean, yeah, UFC 151 will forever be the lost card, but what's done is done. What we have to do now is move on, and try to regain favor with fans that are disappointed in the canceled card. What I would suggest might sound radical, but it might be crazy enough to work. You call a press conference, and you make an announcement that you put together a card that wasn't good enough, and it will never happen again. But do it the Dana White way. I can just hear it now...
Alright, look, the fucking reason I called this press conference is because I fucked up. The fucking fans deserve better cards than that, and that's what they are gonna fucking get. We are gonna get the best fucking fighters in the cage, and give you stacked fucking events. There will never be any fucking bullshit like this ever again in the UFC, and you have my fucking word on that. That's all I have to fucking say. Oh, yeah one more fucking thing. Jon Jones, please fucking beat Chael's ass if you are tired of his shit talking. I'm not your fucking daddy, and you are the most dominant fighter in the fucking world.
I will be eagerly anticipating your fucking apology.