gif via Zombie Prophet

Greetings, long-lost friends and afrotikiman. Tonight we get treated to a rare spectacle of premier fisticuffs with two title fights on the line. Jonny "Bones" Jones will perform yet another beautiful display of destruction to your heroes from your days of nostalgia. Two tiny tornadoes have a chance of fight of the year in a bout that many of you will be too drunk to keep up with at that point. Silver Star recipient Brian Stann will face off against H-Bomb recipient Michael Bisping. Swanson/Oliveira should end decisively, Vinny's debut is interesting, Hettes-Brimage is a very important fight despite being buried in the card, so it should be a fun night of fights.

Tonight's BECW Schedule

Sexysassy Division

kreally's SO BILL NAI (1-0) vs. 19miles' Full Etim (1-0)

lanky6's The Good, The Bad, and the Dolloway (0-1) vs. Horselover's Fucked for Free (0-1)

Intellegent Division

POW's Cock Guys (1-0) vs. Sweet Scientist's Unadulterated Espousers of Hate (1-0)

benten20's Buttertooth Brits (0-1) vs. sklart's The Dogcunt Sklarts (0-1)

Ketchup Division

Violent Newt's Wrong Pick Hospital, Right Pick Necessary (1-0) vs. wonderfulspam's BECWandDietPepsi (1-0)

PFP's Antonio Rodrigo Nohomos (0-1) vs. Tim Bernier's The Team That Wars (0-1)

3 undefeated teams will remain after tonight, and 3 teams will be on their way to As Real As It Gets-level failure. lanky6 used his one replacement option for the season to bring manch1ld onto his poor excuse for a team after KZSP's no-show during week 1. Fight card's below, complete with fancy Wikipedia links even though no one will probably use them.

Main Card (PPV)
Weight Class	Red Corner		Blue Corner
Light Heavyweight Championship	Jon Jones (c)	vs	Vitor Belfort
Flyweight Championship	Joseph Benavidez	vs	Demetrious Johnson
Middleweight	Michael Bisping	vs	Brian Stann
Light Heavyweight	Matt Hamill	vs	Roger Hollett
Catchweight (146.4 lbs.)	Cub Swanson	vs	Charles Oliveira
Preliminary Card (FX and Sportsnet)
Light Heavyweight	Igor Pokrajac	vs	Vinny Magalhães
Lightweight	TJ Grant	vs	Evan Dunham
Welterweight	Sean Pierson	vs	Lance Benoist
Featherweight	Jimy Hettes	vs	Marcus Brimage
Preliminary Card (Facebook)
Welterweight	Seth Baczynski	vs	Simeon Thoresen
Bantamweight	Mitch Gagnon	vs	Walel Watson
Welterweight	Kyle Noke	vs	Charlie Brenneman

ABSOLUTELY NO GIFS. YOUR PICTURES BETTER GOD DAMN WELL BE WORTH IT IF YOU POST THOSE.

A big congratulations is due to Luke Nelson and Unabomberman for being terrible teammates by the way, even with six weeks in between events they still managed to find a way to turn in absolutely zero picks. Make sure you all let them know that they are the worst type of person. Sklart and Bernier, if you want to use your replacement option, email Spam, Horsey, or I before the next event, the sooner the better for your sake.

Also, Horselover is busy reading his Intro to Microsoft Office textbook so he isn't quite finished with the spreadsheet, but let's just say there may be a couple slight inconveniences with it tonight. Check the comments for info on it. Now then...