I suppose I can forgive the Mayans for being off by a few days, considering the time frame they had to work with. Yes, the world officially came to a close yesterday. It was nice knowing ya! The UFC cancelled a card, something long foreseen as a true sign of the Apocalypse.
As images of BE members perched on ledges ran through my mind, I thought about writing a post telling everyone that we don't need any more damned posts. Then it hit me, we needed one more post! It would not be the greatest post, but rather a tribute post. We could keep it open and discuss the return of Arrested Development or how Anchorman 2 could surely not live up to the original, maybe even talk World Cup '14 or who the greatest hair metal band of all-time is. Then I realized, those days were also at a close. Maybe an open letter or a sarcasm piece? Alas, to late. What we really need is to eliminate all of the Jones/Hendo/Dana/UFC/now Lyoto hate posts and have it all concentrated in one super blame post.
Well, here it is! I am going to assess my blame, then feel free to add yours, pan mine, whatever you like. You can blame anyone, just don't blame it on the rain...
I like percentage, let's use those!
-Dana and the evil, underpaying, overcharging, cutting fighters UFC: Damn them for taking so much of my moderately hard earned money! I really am not to mad about the crap card being cancelled, as I couldn't have passed on Hendo v. Bones, but the rest was less than enticing. Yes, it may have turned out amazing, but when deciding to purchase or not, there is little way to tell if that was true. Now, I'm forced to wait an extra 2 weeks and make a safer waste of money. I do blame them for not having a solid Co-Main, which I fully expect for every PPV from this point on. I do blame them for not having a contingency plan in place if this were to happen. Blame percentage...51%.
-Jon "Bones" Jones and his selfish, sport killing camp: Did I want him to run into the phone booth and accept a fight with the undeserving Chael "The People's Champ" Sonnen? Yes. Would he have most likely destroyed Sonnen faster and more thoroughly than Silva did? Yes. Would this have been a huge redemption opportunity for him, even though I think he was just trying to save strippers on that fateful night? Yes. Did he make the best decision? Yes. He threw the onus on Dana, where it belonged. He preserved his standing as belt holder and kept his shiny new Nike contract safe and sound. He also incited the hatred pf women and children world wide by burning down UFC 151. Blame percentage...47%
-Dan "Where Are My Teeth" Henderson and his geriatric knee: To my Grandma, Hendo is a sex symbol. She is highly disappointed that Fight Night at Shady Acres has been cancelled and knows the end has drawn nearer. Damn him for trying to get that elusive last belt! How dare he be beloved by many and try to go in and slay the invincible Bones, setting off a celebration like none before and freeing us from the tyranny. Seriously, after this Summer, was there anyone not holding their breath about another card altering injury? I blame TRT. It is obvious just by looking at him, that he is juiced out of his mind. I'm sure those bulging leg muscles just developed much faster than his ligaments and they couldn't hold up to the pressure. How dare you get injured and try to go on! Blame percentage...13%
For those of you with calculators, yes, it does at up to 111%. Why? Because this one goes to 111.