The last outing for the UFC on FOX received the lowest rating of the first three broadcasts due to the sub par main card. Two weeks from now the UFC will return to national television with UFC on FOX 4, an event that also has a sub par main card.
C'mon Daniel, I thought you were an MMA fan! Ryan Bader is a top ten light heavyweight!
Yeah, the only people that know that are his family and the hardcore MMA fans that would tune into the show if it was headlined by Ricco Rodriguez and Butterbean.
Well... Atleast... um... the card... um... it has... um... BEN ROTHW.... yeah this card sucks.
Quick joke, what do Brandon Vera and air have in common? Answer - They both can't fill a hole.
Your right, Brandon Vera could shock the world, by keeping most of his face bones intact.
Alright enough with talking to myself. Anything can happen in MMA, and UFC on FOX 4 might feature some of the greatest fights of all time, make superstars, and garner a huge rating, or it could channel UFC 149, absolutely suck, and kill the sport.
I'll play out the best and worst case scenarios for UFC on FOX 4. (I did this for UFC on FOX 3, you can check it out here.)
The Scenarios After The Break
Worst Case Scenario
- Brandon Vera is in the main event.
- We are greeted by Mike Goldberg and Joe Rogan who introduce the show. The only problem is that Goldberg's entire face is blacked out. The reason? He has male genitals tattooed on his face. Alcohol was probably involved.
- The camera shows all of the celebrities in attendance. Adrian Peterson is shown. You know, the running back for the Virginia Destroyers. Stephon Marbury, the point guard of the Beijing Ducks, is there, eating his food of choice, Vaseline. Even Gerard Gordeau is there. Gordeau, who is barefoot for an inexplicable reason, shows the camera his foot which has Teila Tuli's tooth in it.
- Ladies and Gentleman, we are starting off the show with Joe Lauzon vs Jamie Varner. Both men enter the octagon and are introduced with a hitch. As the referee is about to start the bout, Varner slowly walks towards the referee and whispers something into his ear. Varner immediately runs out of the cage. The bout is called, and we later learn that Varner had actually crapped his pants during the introductions.
- Ben Rothwell is shown backstage destroying some fried chicken,
- A drunken Diego Sanchez tries to do a Yes Cartwheel down the stairs in the audience. He lands on another drunk dude, and they start fighting. This leads to a huge brawl in the crowd.
- Now its time for a heavyweight bout. Travis Browne vs Ben Rothwell. Rothwell is already gassed from walking to the ring. Playing it safe, Rothwell just takes down Browne and lays on top of him. Yves Lavigne is the referee. This is like Kongo vs Browne, but way worse. Rothwell indulges in pound of fried chicken afterwards.
- Mike Goldberg can't hold it in any longer, and he accidentally urinates on Joe Rogan's leg. Rogan snaps and capoeira kicks Goldberg. A pissed off Rogan is taken away. The UFC frantically call on Jon Anik to replace Rogan, but Gary Goodridge knocks Anik out of the way. He then joins the commentary booth with Mike Goldberg.
-The cameras take a look at the competitors for the next two bouts. Shogun is kicking the crap out of some flyweights. Brandon and Kerry Vera are seen arguing. Lyoto Machida is drinking urine.
- Ryan Bader takes on Lyoto Machida in the co-main event. After both fighters just stare at each other for the first three minutes the crowd loses it's patience and begins to chant "Masterbader". Bader loses it and just breaks down crying in the ring. Machida then tries to console, and the referee, Josh Rosenthal, just leaves the octagon.
- Goldberg and Goodridge promise an exciting main event.
- Right when the bout between Brandon Vera and Shogun Rua starts, Vera starts arguing with his wife Kerry. Rua tries to take advantage of the situation by going with a flying knee at Vera, but Brandon gets out of the way and Rua hits the cage which knocks Kerry down from it. Straight out of pro wrestling, it was a plan!
Shogun looks concerned at Kerry, while Brandon has a huge smile on his face. As Rua turns around Vera kicks Shogun right in the groin (ref is distracted by Kerry). There was one major problem for Vera. Rua was wearing a steel cup. Vera's toe of the foot he kicked Shogun with comes right off and flies into the crowd. Rua finishes Vera with punches to win the fight.
Best Case Scenario
- Jamie Varner and Joe Lauzon ends up being a potential fight of the year caliber fight. It's so great that people tell their friends to tune in. Lauzon wins the fight, and he comes across as a likable personality.
- Travis Browne scores a highlight reel KO over Ben Rothwell in the first round.
- Ryan Bader beats Lyoto Machida with an awesome knock-out in the second round after a fantastic first round that saw both men land heavy strikes. Bader calls out Jon Jones and says that he is the best in the division.
- In the main event Shogun Rua and Brandon Vera have a couple of nice exchanges, until Shogun knocks Vera down with leg kicks and finishes him with ground and pound in the first.
- I win the lottery.