Nice to see all of your smiling faces again.
Inspired by 2012's legendary The Increasingly Poor Desions Of Cecil Peoples vs. Rampage Jackson's School Of Cuckoldry soul-larceny, I've compiled a couple of my favorite soul thefts below. Enjoy, and add your own in the comments!
Edson Barbosa vs. Terry Etim
Poor Etim. One minute, he's fighting Muay Thai machine Edson Barbosa, the next he's challenging Han Solo and Ted Williams' head to a cryogenically-frozen contest. There's a gif of this somewhere on the interwebz, reversed, in which Etim keeps popping back up off the canvas to head-butt Barbosa's heel. I swear to God, if you synch it just right with Pearl Jam's 'Black,' you will levitate and the Universe's secrets will all reveal themselves to you.
(Etim? Damn near killed 'im)
Sorry, Terry Etim. Your soul? Stole.
Forrest Griffin is a former TUF and UFC Light Heavyweight Champion. Read that last sentence again. Now, go rewatch his fight with Anderson Silva. Done? OK, next, watch Forrest Griffin vs. Shogun Rua and Tito Ortiz 3. All caught up? Then I'm sure you've reached the same conclusion I have...
Hey Forrest Griffin-Your soul? Stole.
Gabriel Gonzaga/Mirko Cro Cop
Mirko Cro Cop was once a man so feared he made Honey Badgers wet their nests. That all changed when Gabriel Gonzaga folded him up like a 12-year old Taiwanese boy auditioning for a contortionist job with Cirque De Solei. Cro Cop, who faught prime Fedor Emilienenko to a decision, went on to be consecutively knocked out by Frank Mir, Brendan Schaub, and Roy Nelson. I really wish I could tell you all that was a typo, but it's not. After the gigantic upset, Gonzaga was reported to have celebrated by shampooing his hide with 7 bottles of Pert Plus, instead of his customary 6.
Sorry, Mirko. Your soul? Stole.
Chuck Liddell used to be the one knocking his opponents out. No-really, it's true. Just suck on that for a moment. What went so horribly wrong, you ask? Well, basically this:
Turns out human skulls aren't made to absorb 150mph fists to the dome. I know-weird, right? Zombie Liddell, the long-reigning UFC Light heavyweight Champion, went on to get knocked out approximately 72 more times, including once by a one-armed Rich Franklin.
Some of you have been around long enough to remember the days when Carlos Condit finished fights and Clay Guida would enthusiastically fight a Great White shark while wearing a meat tuxedo. Those days are long gone, my friends (at least if you read internet message boards). These days? Well, these days people want to run.
Calos Condit and Clay Guida-Souls? Stole.
Have a nice one, yall.