FanPost

DAMN YOU CLAY!!


HEY MUTHERFUKERS,

In this constantly changing world of MMA, there are very few absolutes.

For a guy like me, who lurked this site for quite awhile, perhaps rather creepily... (I know all of your deepest and darkest secrets) making an account was a harrowing decision. Sure enough, I didn't posses the testicular fortitude to do it sober, and one fateful night, after enough consumption of liquid courage to overwhelm a bull elephant, I created this here profile.

In my state, I went with a safe choice, a choice I knew would never fail; clayguidashair. Just as sure as I knew the sun would rise in the morning, the Leafs would miss the playoffs, and PsychoBlack would be rec'd to high heaven, Clay Guida would have his beautiful mane of brown locks. All was well in the MMA community, Clay continued his above average UFC career, winning in a decent manner (Pettis fight notwithstanding) and losing in spectacular fashion. Sure, Clay Guida was and is not the most talented guy out there, but his heart, cardio and chin made him an exciting upper level gatekeeper, and it was hard pressed to find someone with a negative word about him.

This was utterly beautiful for me, sort of like Ronda Rousey, as I, the lurker and new member, had a name that was relevant, and not confrontational, sort of like the exact opposite of Bryan Caraway. Alas, all good things must come to an end, and like BROCKLESNAR'S MMA career, the status quo died with a whimper.

That is enough with the outdated MMA references I promise!

I should have seen the writing on the wall with the complaint that was filed by "not" Gray Maynard, about Clay's hair. I should have known what was going to occur. All along it was my best kept inside piece of information in MMA, that Clay Guida was nothing without his hair. Without his wild flowing 'doo, Clay is an American wrestle boxer, the likes of which all of you BE'ers know very well about. Most of his striking exchanges just looked so much cooler with "da flo" as I like to never call it, and it was inevitable that this atrocious fight would come to pass.

I can no longer comment with pride knowing that with every glance at my username, all you fukers out there are reminded of this fight. No matter how clever, bright, hilarious, thought-provoking, attractive, and well endowed I am, the thing y'all will associate me with is this past fight. I've got a Diaz-esque chip on my shoulder from now on, so if I show more 'tude in the future, it's not my fault, it's merely a product of my upbringing.

I'd just like to say to Clay Guida,

HORSESHITSEMENFUCKASSBLARGHGHGHGHGHDINKBLARRRGGGHHGGH

Sorry, it's out of my system, and I just felt something needed to be said.

Sincerely clayguidashair

PS I'm aware I added another outdated MMA reference, but like Alistair Overeem to Dana White, I lied to your faces.

\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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