Suckerpunch: A Short Story, bro

This was such a terrible movie...


Anyway, I bring you this story that I have experienced because it took one punch for me to realize a few things. Not to mention I don't wanna share this story over and over again. Plus I'm sure some of you have had a story like this but the only difference is that you probably did a better job of retaliating with that "jew-jif-sue" I've always read about in the paper.

Cinco de Mayo a group of friends of mine as well as myself went to Opera, a spot in DC. Relatively small place, room was a circular form. Can't really tell you what kind of crowd it was because I got really lit up that night. But it was your standard dance music that wasn't top 40 or Lil Wayne. Apparently one of us knew someone that had a table.

Lets skip all the drama and shenanigans that happened AT the table because the birthday girl wanted to be a diva and kick us off.

We all needed to leave but my 2 girlfriends were downstairs. I ran down to go get them because frankly, it's difficult to have seven people look for 2 and then bring all 9 of them back. So I found them and they were going to finish their drinks before we left. As I danced with my one friend, the other girl was getting into it with this taller, bricked up Asian guy with spiked hair. Apparently he had wanted to dance with her and she rejected him. And because for some reason guys like to get sensitive, he caught a hissy-fit and they went at it.

Now I made a pact with 2 of my boys who weren't there: Never break up fights unless we're bailing someone we know out. It doesn't matter how beautiful they are or how innocent they are, if it got nothing to do with you STAY. AWAY. No point in trying to be a hero when YOU'RE the one getting shoved, punched, or hit with a bottle. And in my experiences I have been pushed, shoved, and almost jabbed.

But this was a friend of mine. A sister to my friend at least. Plus I wanted to leave anyway. So I stepped in NOT TO INTIMIDATE THE GUY but to pull my 2 friends away who switched into Beast Mode and began screaming obscenities at said guy. I was able to send off one and struggled with the other as one of his boys began to pull the guy away. I guess he didn't do a good job.

There was a flash and I was down on one knee trying to figure out where I was. The floor was gray, the techno music blurred and a pain manifested in my left eye. I was bleeding. I had no idea what happened but it felt like a baseball bat clocked me on the temple. And I can honestly say I've never been hit there before. After what felt like hours someone dragged me up and escorted me to the bathroom. I saw the damage and fueled with anger. A friend of mine found me and was ready to rumble. But in my state I couldn't identify who the hell hit me and frankly my only concern was the safety of my 2 girlfriends. A guy came over and checked my eye. Gave me the whole vision test etc and said "It's ok buddy. Just put some ice on it to get down the swelling. You'll be fine"

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I do a little MMA. I've been hit like this before." Go figure.

I was escorted out and somehow struggled to do crowd control, containing myself from attacking the guy that MIGHT have been him, whilst controlling my emotions as alcohol and adrenaline made love to each other causing temporary moments of bi-polar disorder.

So what did I learn from all this?

Never turn your back on beligerance. My mistake was to focus on vacating my friend from the premises instead of focusing on the guy just in case he threw hands. And I've watched enough boxing to know what arm to use to block with.

When someone gets hit in the temple, shit hurts. A lot. There was no way I was getting up from that and I now TRUELY understand when I see fighters going down from a punch over the top. And from what everyone tells me, ther wasn't anything I could do about a blindside punch distrupting my equilibrium. Better there than my jaw.

Suckerpunches are exactly what they are: A punch from a sucker. The past 2 days I've replayed the whole scenario thinking of what I should've done in that case and in the end there isn't anything I can do to change it. For once though I'd like to show off that 1 year of BJJ I know just to say "Yo dawg, I fuckin smoked dat n***a, yo. Like forreal doe, dat n***a was done, son. Done." For once in my life I'd like to show that I'm NOT a pushover like people think I am.

So that's my story. Currently the swelling has gone down but I can't put my contacts in and it hurts when my left eye absorbs light. When it's all said and done it's just another funny story to tell and that's what I've been using. I honestly can't say I've been hit like that before despite my mother punching me in the face accidentally or an elbow from my ex (the one that loves Ben Henderson) or an accidental knee or even that one day in class when we did nothing but Judo when I first started.

Now I know you BE readers have your own stories to share. I just hope you was able to whomp dat ass like I wasn't able to.



\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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