Ok scumbuckets. It's time. Time to close your porn tabs. Time to stop checking your phone every 3 seconds for a phone call that will never come. Time to pick sides. Time to train your cross-hairs on your new enemies. Time to allow a meaningless fantasy draft affect your sense of self-worth way more than it should. For this is the BLOODY ELBOW CIVIL WAR SEASON 3 DRAFT!!!!!!!!!!!

Even an unfeeling robot (and by robot, I mean an autistic kid who's had a MacBook Air installed in place of his brain) like wonderfulspam senses that this is the season that will change everything. The first one marked a change in how we all watch MMA, this season changes the way in just how erect (or moist, for the ladies) MMA makes us. And that, my friends, is a huge fucking deal. So pull up a chair. Chloroform the kids (looking at you gspmademegay). Set the wife up with Desperate Housives of ________ on Netflix in the other room. Ladies, tape some keys to the ceiling fan in the other room to keep the man in your life occupied. Kater- put away the real doll. Horselover- leave those fucking pony riding kids alone before I call the authorities. And the ponies- leave them the fuck alone too. For it's time. Time. To. Draft!


GreggtheRangerStott (he of 7 BE comments) and OwMyArm (who I've at least heard of, but who has ignored every piece of correspondance I've sent) are out. Damon O. and mollcutpurse are eligible for the draft.

-Keep in mind that neither Damon O. or moll are currently signed up to PG or in the camp. Also Waristotle is the only person to not yet accept the camp invite. Now, given the amount that they are on the site and the fact that both expressed interest in playing, I'm not expecting any problems with them, but keep this in mind when drafting them. Should any of them not make it into the camp by Thursday, the team that drafted them will get to select their replacements from the be prospects camp. Got it? Good.

- This is a link: Click on this link and you will be clicking on wonderfulspam's missing sex life. In other words, the spreadsheet at the other end of that link will be updated in real time by spammy. So, get to the draft late and want to see if you've been slected? *click* You're a captain and you just did a whippetqueef _TM_ from a Pakistani call girl that you've hired for the evening and forgot who you've selected and when you're up next? *click* Spammy's got ya covered.

- Posting rules: Please, if you're gonna post a pic, use the subject line. This is gonna be a big thread, so let's try to keep things reasonable. I've seen it suggested that there shouldn't be any gif allowed- I'm ok with them, but seriously, the gif better be fucking hilarious and perfect, or I'm going to set my snark on you and believe me, you do not want to be in my sights. At 13, I made my parents get a divorce using only my words just because I could. You don't want to fuck with me- so gifs only if they're fucking great. I expect everyone to help me police this. Thanks.

- Finally, I'd like to address being the first overall pick. Looking back, I suppose that I've been working for this my whole life. I remember being 8 years old, sitting in the corner of my sister's room in the dark and calling out finishes. "Sticky shorts, via over the pants handjob, 3 minutes in." It brings a salty discharge to my eye (yeah, I ejaculate from my eyes- big whoop) to think of how far I've come, growing up on the mean streets of one of the whitest neighborhoods of NYC, to being an utterly forgettable member of the original BE vs. Mania game, to then starting the BECW because in yet another example of his stellar leadership, MDH picked MycahtheCynic over me for round 2 of the BE vs. Mania contest (that woulda worked out gangbusters, Earl. That rematch being abortioned was the last bit of good luck you've had in life) to back to back Top 5 finishes.... I've grown so much right in front of all your eyes. And I relish this moment, as clearly I'm being set up for a precipitous fall (known as pulling a crazybones), only to rise from the ashes again- like a gay Phoenix. Why gay? I dunno- but it somehow makes it funnier, amirite?

OK- without further apoo- LETS DRAFT MUTHERFUKERSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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