This article has as tenuous a link to MMA as a Brock Lesnar WWE Promo but I am very interested in Spiders and now have the chance to blether about them.

I've had a few bites living in Scotland but there is nothing poisonous over here, bar a few Adders which are as rare as a Ben Askren KO. But I came close to a few gnarly situation during my time spent in Australia. Home of some bird eating spiders and a plethora or disgusting and repellant poisonous monstrosities.

As I mentioned in the Bonnar post, Camel spiders are not poisonous but have a significant bite and tear away at the prey leaving the wound prone to infection, which I imagine is the case with Bonnar, so a dose of anti inflammitaries and antibiotics will have him right as rain within a week, hopefully.

The following are some hideous beast that would truly have put him in peril and I hope no-one is squeamish as these fuckers are horrid.

Here are my top five picks of the spiders you should run away from, Griffin style, whilst shrieking like a little girl. They get worse as you go down the list.

1. Bird eating spider

via agreenliving.org

This spider, like the one that bit Bonnar, does not usually have much venom, but it has such large mandibles that it has the potential to actually sever an artery.

2. Black Widow spider

via images.nationalgeographic.com

Found in many parts of the world, small and highly venemous and very aggressive when provoked.

3. White Tail spider

via www.cape-york-australia.com

I almost got munched by one of these sitting in a garden in O.Z. I looked up and saw my neighbour charging towards me with a garden fork, he lunged past me and stated stabbing the living shit out of the ground behind my chair. This is what he was protecting me from. The venom has been reported to cause necrosis although this is not confirmed. If you have a strong stomach check out this link with a photos of a necrotising bite victim.

http://www.ascendedhealth.com/brown-recluse/bite-picture.htm

4. Brown Recluse Spider

via australianmuseum.net.au

This spider is only found in parts of the States, is about the size of a dime (I think) and is very unremarkable looking. It has a horrible bite as can be seen here. You do not want to get bitten by this little bastard, seriously.

http://www.documentingreality.com/forum/f149/brown-recluse-spider-bite-98651/

5. Sydney Funnelweb spider.

via www.spidatrap.com

This is the meanest spider around. It comes into homes, lives under your laundry and will attack you do defend it's territory. It will chase you with it's front legs up so as to strike and it produces so much venom it drips from its teeth. If you have a fear of spiders imagine one running after you, round the kitchen table with the intent of doing you in. Mentalness on a grand scale.

Apologies for the off topic post, couldn't resist tagging this on from the earlier post from today. Sleep well and check under your duvet.