The ideal MMA fighter

I've been reading the various comments on MMA forums for a while and I think I found out what the perfect fighter would be:

• He would always finish fights but never too soon so as not to "waste your precious money". Probably always in the end of the second round/begining of the third
• No mater who he's fighting, he'd never make any gameplans, like adapting his style to his opponents. That's only for "point fighters' after all
• He would never try to evade strikes directed towards him, that's running away like a little girl, he'd take them like a man
• He'd proceed to hit the guys he's facing as hard as he can or choke them out but would treat them gently the second they're out
• He would talk trash before and during the fight (we don't want a champion with no personality right?) but never after (that wouldn't be a true martial artist)
• If he was sick or injured, he would never ever mention it and would make sure his entire family/crew/general following wouldn't either. If he lost, that would be making excuses and if he won, that would be lacking respect
• He'd be confidant but not cocky, the difference is obvious
• He would have never touched any performance enhancing drugs but he'd be ripped like those photoshoped guys you see in cheap adds on torrent sites
• He'd be American (like in coming from the USA, all those people coming from Canada or South America are not true Americans) so the crowd could chant USA, USA, USA...
• He would win throughout his carreer until he's 65 and would then retire after winning. Anything else would mean "he never was that good anyway"
• Fans would love him but in a very subtle way. No nut hugging or hype train would ever be involved
• He would always fight against opponents thought to be better than him
• He definitely wouldn't train with Greg Jackson
• He would never be evenly matched (SNOOZEFEST!)
• He would never win by a "lucky punch"
• He wouldn't have "pillow fist" unless you're talking about stone pillows for some weird reasons
• He wouldn't throw strikes to the groin, the back of the head, poke someone in the eyes or do 12 to 6 elbows ever!
• He would never grind people against the cage or on the mat
• He wouldn't be a wrestler

So there you are, there's probably more to it than that but it's late and this is probably a good enough base as it is. If you have anything else to add please fell free to do so in the comments. If you read this and recognise yourself or someone you know, please get in there as quickly as you can;
The world needs you!