Ok, let's just get right into this. We've got this guy, Sugel Mendoza-and what the fuck is a Sugel Mendoza, anyway? Sugar Magnolia? Mario Mendoza? Sugar Ray? Anyway, this fucking keyboard warrior, he's not even in the mix. I'll be honest with you guys, OK? He's not even in the fucking batter. This retard's not even in the fucking ingredients, OK?

So this fucking guy, he's online imitating me, fucking doing all these fucking fake press releases for guys like Zachary Kater and Earl Montclair and whoever the fuck Fighting Historian calls himself now. I mean, have you seen these fucking guys? They've got arms like legs and look like B-list movie stars and just fucking sit around all day fucking doing nothing, doing J's with cats named Marjorie while I fly around the world not sleeping for 47 straight days. Do you know what it takes to fucking do what I do? Fuck.

Let me tell you something else: this Magnolia, this dummy's running around telling people I hang out with Jon Jones while he's naked and covered in chocolate? Is this guy fucking nuts? It was fucking red beet juice. And lemme tell you-I don't know if his poop is blessed or not, but it's definitely in the mix.