All Aboard the Sonnen War Wagon
by Jeremy Couturier on Jan 27, 2012 10:24 PM EST
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(REAL MAN OF GENIUS)
January 28th 2012 we salute you, Chael Sonnen, one testicle,convicted white collar felon,disputed UFC MW CHAMPION OF THE WORLD.
(ONE TESTICLE!)
On the cusp of the a long awaited rematch with the hated Michael Jackson impersonator Anderson Silva, you must first dispose of the the equally hated and faded Michael "The Count" Bisping. Fortunately for you there is no athletic commission,leave of absense,jury of your peers,"doctor",or nation of offended Brazilians that can stand in the way of your destiny. With a mouth that knows no limits and a keen sense of trolling that can fire up the keyboard warriors of the internet in a nanosecond, you cannot be denied your path of glory.(Except by way of triangle choke.)
(FAKE TAP THAT SHIT!)
In these desperate times, it's good to know there is a man that reflects the real American, one of untruths,misjustice, and the Murican way. Because we're all not a bunch of goody two shoes, and goddammit even the British fans hate Bisping. Sit back, stroke that fake belt, monitor those TRT levels and wrestlehump that wanker to victory. MAKE AMERICA PROUD. Remember, inside all of us is an asshole just like you.
(MR CHAEL SONNEN ONE TESTICLE,CONVICTED WHITE COLLAR FELON, DISPUTED UFC MW CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!)
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by RolloTomasi on Jan 28, 2012 1:29 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I was listening to a bunch of these the other day was inspired to create a poorly though out fanpost and illustration. It’s obvious this is satire. This is probably James Montgomery Flagg bashing as i desecrated his iconic image with Chael Sonnen face.
by Jeremy Couturier on Jan 28, 2012 8:40 AM EST up reply actions
Not really.
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by Zachary Kater on Jan 28, 2012 10:49 AM EST up reply actions
Still can’t deny that he did more to hurt Silva than pretty much anybody before.
Hell, he’s pretty much the reason why I consider Fedor to be GOAT above Silva.
Only time Fedor’s ever had somebody sit on him for an entire round was somebody who had 60 pounds on him after a first round that Fedor won. Silva got dominated for 4 and a half rounds by somebody the same size without anywhere near the same ability to lay down ground and pound.
The Werdum and the Takase losses pretty much cancel out, although one could argue that Werdum is actually a top 10 HW, and a far greater grappler than Takase.
Hendo and Chonan cancel out as sudden ‘WTF that was unexpected’ losses, and Hendo is likewise a far superior fighter to Silva WTF moment.
Silva didn’t spend half his fights as a can crusher, and he BEAT Sonnen.
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by MicahtheCynic on Jan 28, 2012 3:36 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"Only time Fedor’s ever had somebody sit on him for an entire round..."
Sounds like somebody couldn’t be bothered to watch the Arona fight.
by WheelieMonkey on Jan 28, 2012 1:43 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Is this post satire?
Fedor above Silva????On what planet?!!
What's this war in the heart of nature? Why does nature vie with itself? The land contend with the sea? Is there an avenging power in nature? Not one power, but two?
by Kwisatz Haderach on Jan 29, 2012 10:58 AM EST up reply actions
Planet Earth
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Fedor's wildest dreams,
don’t involve him being on Anderson Silva’s level.
What's this war in the heart of nature? Why does nature vie with itself? The land contend with the sea? Is there an avenging power in nature? Not one power, but two?
by Kwisatz Haderach on Jan 29, 2012 6:33 PM EST up reply actions
Looks like someone
really enjoys writing the word ‘testicle’ a lot.
Rooting for Bisping to win this. I fucking hate Sonnen. A cheating, lying, racist, unrepentant arsehole.
That he has such a large following of fans is a bit depressing and makes me fear that our species doesn’t deserve to carry on.
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by Jaspawokki on Jan 28, 2012 6:19 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
This is satire, but yes I want Sonnen to win because a rematch with Silva will be far more entertaining and competitive than one with Bisping. I however don’t think either fighter is a horrible person.
by Jeremy Couturier on Jan 28, 2012 8:46 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I think it’s a little generous to call this ‘satire’.
by WheelieMonkey on Jan 28, 2012 1:44 PM EST up reply actions
Has anyone here heard the Bud Lite Real Man of Genius ads? Yeesh :)
by Jeremy Couturier on Jan 28, 2012 2:54 PM EST up reply actions
Anyone who actually HATES any fighter has way too many spare emotions to waste on frivolous things. I like Bisping, but he has no business being in the cage with Spider.
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by Zachary Kater on Jan 28, 2012 10:51 AM EST up reply actions
I have a broad and sweeping hatred of his character type
If Bisping beats sonnen he has earned his shot fairly. Unlike some fighters in recent memory. I wouldn’t be suprised if Chael pissed hot again either. I don’t think he gives a fuck and believes himself untouchable, ‘undefeated’ and ‘undisputed’. Madness.
It takes a big man to cry. But it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man crying.
by Jaspawokki on Jan 28, 2012 11:10 AM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Your sig is appropriate here.
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by Zachary Kater on Jan 28, 2012 12:50 PM EST up reply actions
I don’t think he gives a fuck and believes himself untouchable, ‘undefeated’ and ‘undisputed’
Let me just channel my inner Luke Thomas for a moment: That is the dumbest comment I have ever read, unless I misread it and you’re saying that he doesn’t believe he is untouchable etc.
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by wonderfulspam on Jan 28, 2012 3:01 PM EST up reply actions
anyone who pontificates on the emotions of others
is a fool
by UncleMax on Jan 30, 2012 8:48 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
ALL ABOARD THE CHAEL WAR TOBOggan…?
by UncleMax on Jan 30, 2012 8:50 PM EST via Android app up reply actions
all agreed
indeed!
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Oh god no ppl did you have to keeping rec’n this? Oh the humanity!
by Jeremy Couturier on Jan 29, 2012 9:36 AM EST reply actions
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