UFC 142: Aldo vs Mendes, The Phenom vs Rumble, back to Rio, this Saturday, yadda yadda. We all know the story...everyone came here for the best damn predictions ever. Prelims get a winner and method, while main card fights get the same, plus a bit of a description to go along with it....IF I feel like ramblinb on about it, anyways.

Preliminary card (Facebook)

Featherweight bout: Felipe Arantes vs Antonio Carvalho - Carvalho via Decision

Preliminary card (FX)

Welterweight bout: Ricardo Funch vs Mike Pyle - Pyle via Submission

Featherweight bout: Yuri Alcantara vs Michihiro Omigawa - Alcantara via Decision

Heavyweight bout: Gabriel Gonzaga vs Edinaldo Oliveira - Oliveira via knockout

Lightweight bout: Thiago Tavarez vs Sam Stout - Stout via knockout

Main card (PPV)

Lightweight bout: Edson Barboza vs Terry Etim - Barboza is undefeated and the best aspect of his game is his striking. Some would argue that he is barely or wrongly undefeated, as his last two fights were quite competitive and close. Etim is primarily a submission fighter who returned after a long layoff with an insta-sub over Edward Faaloloto. I'm looking for Barboza to either avoid or survive the ground game while winning the striking exchanges.

Edson Barboza via clear cut unanimous decision

Welterweight bout: Erick Silva vs Carlo Prater - Silva is young and on a very good win streak while Prater is not so young and on a win streak that is less than very good. I think this is just going to be the case of short notice + being younger and a bit better for Silva.

Erick Silva via Submission

Middleweight bout: Rousimar Palhares vs Mike Massenzio - Let's not mince words here, the urban legend known as Toquinho is a monster who feeds off of the injured leg and knee joints of those he defeats. I'm not saying I'm not giving Mike Massenzio a change here..but I'm not giving Mike Massenzio a chance here.

Rousimar Palhares via Submission of the Night

Middleweight bout: Vitor Belfort vs Anthony Johnson - Anthony Johnson finally decided to stop starving himself and murdering his kidneys and moved up to fight at 185 pounds. He's known for having dynamite in his hands and has quite a few wins in the first round...similar to Vitor Belfort. This one is going to be a good ole' fashion slobberknocker where Johnson puts it on Vitor...either right off the bat, or after a round or two of wearing him out with wrestling.

Anthony Johnson via TKO

Featherweight bout: Jose Aldo vs Chad Mendes - Aldo will look to stand up and strike, Mendes will look to take down and wear out...Aldo has very deadly and versatile striking while Mendes is fairly well rounded but primarily uses his wrestling. I'd say Mendes is a step above Hominick and Florian when it comes to what he brings in the wrestling departman and the damage and control he can bring from top position on the ground. It's a bit of a long shot, and I won't be shocked if I'm wrong, but...

Chad Mendes via late Submission

Random Movie Quote: "I am Count Vladislaus Dragulia. Born, 1422...murdered, 1462"