FanPost

Jon Gruden's take on the UFC 142 Main Events

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via cache.deadspin.com

Bloody Elbow is known for getting high profile analyst to comment on upcoming events so I thought I'd track down one of the best high profile analyst in the business, Coach Jon Gruden.

Hello Bloody Elbow. Man, I gotta tell ya, THIS GUY (points thumb back up at himself) sure is lookin' forward to U-F-C 142. We get to watch some of the toughest, nastiest, animals go at head to head, mono e mono. I hope everybody is as pumped up as I am, MAN I CAN’T WAIT!

Let’s start with the middle weights. I tell ya, THIS MATCHUP, I call it THE BLINK because it you do that then you’ll probably miss the fight. First off, ya got this guy VITOR THE PHENOM BELFORT. Let me tell you about THIS GUY. 20-9 with with 14 (T) KO’s, he’s got a better completion rating than Tom Brady. This guy should change his nickname from the Phenom to the ENERGY SAVER because he’s always turning off lights.

Then you got Rumble Johnson. WHOA, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS GUY. Anthony Johnson was the 2004 NJCAA national champion at 174 lbs., wrestling for Lassen College and was TWO TIME state champion and TWO TIME state runner up, setting the school record for most wins in a row. But don’t let that fool ya, because the guy can kick better Martin Gramatica. Man, I wish I coulda got this guy to come kick for me at the Bucs. They should call this guy EARTHQUAKE because he does a lot more than RUMBLE.

WOO! What an exciting match-up, I tell ya if you’re not pumped up for this one then you need to get checked out. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and pick the hometown favorite Vitor Belfort because I might go to the fight and I need to make it back to the US.

Next up we have the MAIN EVENT. Wow talk about a match-up. THIS GUY (points thumb back up at himself) isn’t going to be able to sleep until this fight happens.

First off we got CHAD "MONEY" MENDES. I like this guy’s nickname, because at 11-0 you probably made some MONEY off Mendes. This guy will smother you like pork chops.

And then you have the CHAMP JOSE ALDO JR. Wow talk about a talent. I call this guy WHITE MEAT because of how much he hates legs and thighs. Aldo is ALL WORLD, man talk about a complete fighter. His leg kicks can change the race of your leg for life. WHATCH OUT because this one’s gonna be good.

I’m going for a Brazilian sweep on this one. Aldo all the way.

HT: http://www.andthevalleyshook.com/2011/12/21/2652785/a-special-guest-breaks-down-the-bcs-championship-game-jon-gruden

\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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