UFC 139 - I hope it sucks
by Farthammer on Sep 30, 2011 11:48 PM EDT
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I don't expect this to get rec'd. I don't expect 100s of comments. I don't expect sympathy. I expect nothing but hatred and scorn.
I was just reminded that 3 months ago, I agreed to babysit my 2-year old nephew in the East Bay on November 19th while his parents (my sister) are out of town. Family is pretty much the only thing that could prevent me from seeing my second live UFC event, and so here we are.
I was fired up. I was excited to meet my BE brethren, even if only for an hour or two at a tailgate. I was thrilled about the prospect of seeing Dan Henderson punch Shogun in the mouth and then hearing how Shogun was coming off a surgery. Instead, I am left with one option. To hate.
I hate all of you and hope the event is terrible without me attending. I hope every fight is a decision. I hope all the wrestlers shoulder-punch all the non-wrestlers. I hope the concessions give everyone gas. I hope Limp Bizkit plays live. I hope Steven Seagall wears shooting glasses in the cage and tells Ariel Helwani that he saw something coming. I hope Dana White tells everyone that people are in the mix. I hope Goldberg is so loud that people in the stands have to hear what he says. I hope they get rid of Baba O-Reilly and replace it with the Gladiator Intro live in-house. I hope Guy Fieri introduces fighters. I hope Cecil Peoples judges every fight.
And most of all, I hope I can convince my wife to babysit my nephew without me so I can go.
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And the winner of playa hater of the year is..
Farthammer!
by Tats16 on Oct 1, 2011 12:05 AM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Rec'd for understanding your thoughts.
KEMvP
"You know Joe, if Keith Jardines last name was Johnson, the nickname 'The Dean of Mean' wouldn't work at all."
Rec'd for being in the same boat.
My son’s due date is that day.
From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs - Karl Marx
by pridedaze09 on Oct 1, 2011 12:30 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
So you plan to head to the hospital right after the fights right?
Just kidding
PACIFIC RIM
in theaters
July 12th, 2013
if only if only.
I’m bringing the digital cable box.
"I only want to be known as the best ever. Is that too much to ask?" – BJ Penn
by pridedaze09 on Oct 2, 2011 4:17 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Well I don't mean in that sense.
Just that I can’t go to fights.
KEMvP
"You know Joe, if Keith Jardines last name was Johnson, the nickname 'The Dean of Mean' wouldn't work at all."
I can see right through your lies
Who’s the baby’s momma?
Business as Usual has a STACKED team. I mean, we could win with just me, but you know.
by halitosis on Oct 1, 2011 11:56 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Hahaha
I’d kill myself man. I don’t even hit 20 til next year.
KEMvP
"You know Joe, if Keith Jardines last name was Johnson, the nickname 'The Dean of Mean' wouldn't work at all."
i thought that once too.
And I just turned 21 a few days ago. When a girl comes to you and says she’s pregenant, (not saying its ever crossed my mind) saying, “get an abortion” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
"I only want to be known as the best ever. Is that too much to ask?" – BJ Penn
by pridedaze09 on Oct 2, 2011 4:20 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I'm pretty anti abortion
So I’d take the kid. But absolutely, I can’t even comprehend what would go through my mind.
KEMvP
"You know Joe, if Keith Jardines last name was Johnson, the nickname 'The Dean of Mean' wouldn't work at all."
This is a hidden classic
I originally was scheduled to work on Saturdays effective the week of September 17th for anywhere from 5-7.5 hours and couldn’t get home until 10:30 at the latest.
But then I got let go the week of UFC FN: Shields vs. Ellenberger.
I consider this to be the greatest agreeable “parting ways” in the history of ever.
I respect your opinion even though it's wrong.
by SSreporters on Oct 1, 2011 12:25 AM EDT reply actions 7 recs
Rec'd
For unemployment.
From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs - Karl Marx
by pridedaze09 on Oct 1, 2011 12:32 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I honestly don’t know if I should feel bad for you for losing your job in this economy, or feel good for you because you’ll be able to watch MMA consistently now.
Check out the C&D Channel on YouTube at: http://www.youtube.com/user/Gobusiness123 for MMA reviews, predictions, analysis, and other MMA related content.
well at least you got to see shields get KTFO'D
that was fun
I'm going to this
I will be the one in the crowd holding a sign that says “Fuck you Farthammer”
Read: Toblerone Jones
by Neil Manich on Oct 1, 2011 12:41 AM EDT reply actions 8 recs
I hope they throw you out for profanity
Then on the way out someone spills beer on your shoe and covers it in Morton’s Salt.
BOOSH
by Farthammer on Oct 1, 2011 12:50 AM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
I hope that kid shits his pants four or five times.
Read: Toblerone Jones
by Neil Manich on Oct 1, 2011 1:05 AM EDT up reply actions 11 recs
I like where this thread is going.
"If you say Chael Sonnen I will light you on fire." -- Farthammer.
by IKiIIed007 on Oct 1, 2011 7:07 AM EDT up reply actions 8 recs
Solution:
Don’t change his pants until after the fifth time he shits them. What’s the point of changing them if he’s only gonna drop more mud in the clean pants?
.....
by Scabby Knuckle on Oct 1, 2011 4:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Will you babysit my daughter?
"Nothing's ever what it seems. And even if it is, ends justify means." -Matt Good
by KingBrody on Oct 3, 2011 11:42 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
In before player hater’s ball picture.
Favorite League of Legends characers:
Amumu
Malphite
Singed
Teemo
Nunu
Make your picks on Playground.
"All man are the same except for their belief in their own selves, regardless of what others may think of them"
Follow @kkelchner621
by Kaleb Kelchner on Oct 1, 2011 2:43 AM EDT up reply actions
Close call. For whatever reason playground wouldn’t load for the past 3 days.
Favorite League of Legends characers:
Amumu
Malphite
Singed
Teemo
Nunu
by Hendo_One-Shot on Oct 1, 2011 12:54 PM EDT up reply actions
I kinda figured it was just my computer. Oh well, picks in. I feel really good about this event.
Favorite League of Legends characers:
Amumu
Malphite
Singed
Teemo
Nunu
by Hendo_One-Shot on Oct 1, 2011 2:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Take the kid
Never too young to start them on the righteous path as fanbabies. Get the kid a Lets Poopourpants! t-shirt to wear to the fights.
I mean, really, what the fuck kind of uncle wouldn’t take his nephew to a fun sporting event?
Never mind, I think I know.
.....
by Scabby Knuckle on Oct 1, 2011 2:07 AM EDT reply actions 6 recs
That's what I was thinking!
Btw, just saw Jesse Taylor fight live here in Panama. He is the crazy dude from Tuf 7. He won via vicious GNP! I gotta take what I can get here.
by Fedornuthugger on Oct 1, 2011 3:19 AM EDT up reply actions
Never to young to start the MMA.
Fuck, they have children’s leagues in England, right?
Staff Editor at GamePro
Follow Me: @KenTheGreat1
I Interviewed Dana White Once & It Was Totally Cool
by McKinley B. Noble on Oct 3, 2011 12:56 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
I mean, live fights are cool and all,
but couldn’t you just order the PPV while babysitting the little shit? Put some hair on his chest.
Xtreme Couture- The best never rest! The girl in my av is Kari Sweets (you're welcome).
"I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler."
-Socrates
Atta boy.
You can also kickbox your nephew inbetween fights, make a man out of him. KEEP THAT CHIN DOWN BOY
Xtreme Couture- The best never rest! The girl in my av is Kari Sweets (you're welcome).
"I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler."
-Socrates
by ElliotMatheny on Oct 1, 2011 2:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Haha
reminds me of when I took kickboxing with Kampmann. Nothing helps you to keep your hands high than a pissed off Dane yelling “KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP!!” during sparring.
Xtreme Couture- The best never rest! The girl in my av is Kari Sweets (you're welcome).
"I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler."
-Socrates
by ElliotMatheny on Oct 1, 2011 4:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah well I hope the kid pukes, shits, and pisses all over your house and your wife makes you clean it up. Oh yeah and I hope your cable goes out so you can’t see the fights on TV.
I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!
Cable is for poor people
I hope you never know the joy of tipping valets $20s.
BOOSH
by Farthammer on Oct 1, 2011 10:38 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Problem Solved
Extra ticket for the young’un + ear muffs
MDH is going to have to fork over his screen name
That’s some high quality hate right there.
Tatum: I think he's a good man. I like him. I got nothing against him, but I'm definitely gonna make orphans of his children.
by Dave Strummer on Oct 1, 2011 1:07 PM EDT reply actions 7 recs
hating on the hate
don’t hate
The artful muppet formerly known as KrmtDfrog.
Please read my sardonic wit and over-blown sense of self over at headkicklegend.com
by Cory Braiterman on Oct 1, 2011 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions
sure is.
as if the world needed another reason to cockpunch the guy.
Dear Brock Lesnar,
Please beat Alistair Overeem. That is all.
Sincerely, Me
by Earl Montclair on Oct 1, 2011 2:58 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Ewww. Dear Christ.
Only Alan Belcher has done worse.
Staff Editor at GamePro
Follow Me: @KenTheGreat1
I Interviewed Dana White Once & It Was Totally Cool
by McKinley B. Noble on Oct 3, 2011 12:59 AM EDT up reply actions
as soon as belcher got that choke where johnny kissed the guy goodnight
his tattoo became awesome
" Rock crushes scissors! But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum. "
------ Zapp Brannigan
Why would someone want gatorade flavored like a hat?
Business as Usual has a STACKED team. I mean, we could win with just me, but you know.
by halitosis on Oct 1, 2011 4:44 PM EDT up reply actions 7 recs
this logic would lead to normal gatorade tasting like a gat.
The NBA: Where Donaghy Happens.
by imissnoch on Oct 2, 2011 12:10 AM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
So does this mean there is no pow in my powerade?
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Wayne Gretzky - Michael Scott
by Sugel Mendoza on Oct 6, 2011 11:43 PM EDT up reply actions
Does this mean if the event sucks we can place all blame on you?
"For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication. ." -Friedrich Nietzsche
No
Kid Nate is to blame, as per usual
Dear Brock Lesnar,
Please beat Alistair Overeem. That is all.
Sincerely, Me
by Earl Montclair on Oct 1, 2011 4:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Sheesh
Haven’t sitcoms taught you anything? There are plenty of ways to get around this.
"What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease."
by dedstrk316 on Oct 1, 2011 5:13 PM EDT reply actions 6 recs
/\This
"Kickboxing is great. It combines the style and grace of boxing with... kicking." -- Norm MacDonald
I'd rec you if it weren't for the fact that your 15 year old emo sister wrote the first paragraph.
The Internets: Where there are no girls and men become children.
by Unabomberman on Oct 1, 2011 6:50 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
You know what my least favorite word of the past ten years is?
“Epic.”
And yet there is no other way to describe this post. Well done.
by beeran on Oct 1, 2011 9:17 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
You would like this article of Maddox'.
http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=epic
Xtreme Couture- The best never rest! The girl in my av is Kari Sweets (you're welcome).
"I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler."
-Socrates
by ElliotMatheny on Oct 1, 2011 11:28 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
I had to miss going to UFC 94 once upon a time. It was horrible. But I had an 8 month pregnant girlfriend at the time. I might have been able to swing it, but if she had gone into labor and I was in vegas, my father would have given me a corrective man beating and my family owuld have shunned me. Still not sure if I made the right decision :)
94 was pretty awesome, too.
At least the main card was. The prelims were nothing but decisions.
Xtreme Couture- The best never rest! The girl in my av is Kari Sweets (you're welcome).
"I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler."
-Socrates
by ElliotMatheny on Oct 2, 2011 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions
it took until the co main to get out of the decision streak
Dear Brock Lesnar,
Please beat Alistair Overeem. That is all.
Sincerely, Me
by Earl Montclair on Oct 2, 2011 3:43 PM EDT up reply actions
The main card decisions were pretty entertaining, though
Xtreme Couture- The best never rest! The girl in my av is Kari Sweets (you're welcome).
"I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler."
-Socrates
by ElliotMatheny on Oct 2, 2011 5:35 PM EDT up reply actions
indeed
Dear Brock Lesnar,
Please beat Alistair Overeem. That is all.
Sincerely, Me
by Earl Montclair on Oct 2, 2011 5:43 PM EDT up reply actions
just like 126
until Miguel Torres showed us his new bag of tricks
I must be the only person in the WORLD
who didn’t hate that fight.
Xtreme Couture- The best never rest! The girl in my av is Kari Sweets (you're welcome).
"I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler."
-Socrates
by ElliotMatheny on Oct 3, 2011 2:25 AM EDT up reply actions
probably not.
only other 2 guys I could think of on your side would be named Miguel Torres and Firas Zahabi.
I actually enjoy watching a guy maximize his physical abilities,
and fight the right way for his build.
Xtreme Couture- The best never rest! The girl in my av is Kari Sweets (you're welcome).
"I swear it upon Zeus an outstanding runner cannot be the equal of an average wrestler."
-Socrates
by ElliotMatheny on Oct 3, 2011 7:39 PM EDT up reply actions
I also had a similar experience with I think UFC 95 a woman went into labour on the train down to London. Long story short it ended with me spending nine hours having my hand crushed and being screamed at while her husband flew home from New York. On the plus side the babies middle name is Matthew
http://unintelligentdefense.blogspot.com
by MattParker117 on Oct 2, 2011 5:12 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Just had to say
This thread was amazingly funny, I just laughed my ass off
by Hans Sprungfeld on Oct 3, 2011 10:30 AM EDT reply actions
I hope every fight is a decision. I hope all the wrestlers shoulder-punch all the non-wrestlers. I hope the concessions give everyone gas. I hope Limp Bizkit plays live. I hope Steven Seagall wears shooting glasses in the cage and tells Ariel Helwani that he saw something coming. I hope Dana White tells everyone that people are in the mix. I hope Goldberg is so loud that people in the stands have to hear what he says. I hope they get rid of Baba O-Reilly and replace it with the Gladiator Intro live in-house. I hope Guy Fieri introduces fighters. I hope Cecil Peoples judges every fight.
This sounds like the best event in history!
by MaximumWatermelon on Oct 3, 2011 3:47 PM EDT reply actions
Gooooood...
"Kickboxing is great. It combines the style and grace of boxing with... kicking." -- Norm MacDonald
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