"...the morning after the battle, there was much that would never remain..."

photo courtesy of: via www.britishbattles.com

     As I awoke this morning and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, the dried ritalin from my nostrils and told Padma Lakshmi to get the hell out my bed and make me some crepes, I was struck with the profound feeling that everything was different.  And not in an absurd Lost/ Fringe parallel universe kinda different either, but more like a post-penicillin or cancer-free world kinda difference.  Last night, during one of the most god awful domestic cards put on by the UFC in quite some time, I was on the edge of my seat, yelling at the screen, sweating balls and dropping basement-virgin levels of comments in the live thread- a live thread that ended up with a shade under 3,000 posts for a Spike card headlining Jake Shields.  That's Anderson Silva money-level comments.  I was praying to everyone from Allah to Jobu to the Omnissiah for Lullo to just make it through the 3rd round!  I was offering free smack to Court to just squeak by the Ox.  I mean, I WAS ACTUALLY INVESTED IN A MATT RIDDLE FIGHT! 

     Normally, I would just cut my losses (and wrists) and go straight to the psych ward for 72 hours of peaceful oblivion and 3 hots and a cot if I found myself behaving this way.  But, I was not the only one!  Oh no- you lunatics mutherfukers- you were right there with me, threatening murder, suicide and all sorts of charnal consequences- and IT WAS GLORIOUS.   I'll take the credit for providing the platform, but the only reason that this shit is so cool is because everyone involved (well, almost everyone-more on that later) threw themselves into it full on, taking it seriously but not too seriously and having Monique amounts of fun.  I thank all of you involved (except for those who will be featured on "This Week in BE Civil War Failure- your time is coming), from the captains to the last draft picks for achieving what I thought was impossible:  You've made MMA and Bloody Elbow MORE FUN!   So I salute you!  Immortality, blowjobs and apples are yours- take them!  

    OK- you guys didn't come here to see my pride spill out in binary- you came for results.  And BLOOD!  Every war begins with a single battle and last night was ours.  Before we begin, this week's scoring ended up being complicated due to 2 negligent jerks and 1 Subo.  As a result of 3 members of Team Business as Usual (tm), I had to employ alternate scoring which were explained in the many posts putting this game together.  

     So, in the interest of full disclosure, here's the deal- despite Kaleb's stalking and bothering these guys, BO Knows MMA (insert ridiculously easy joke here) and MMARazorback failed to even create PG accounts.  The way that we addressed this issue was to create a provision saying that for this first event only, all teams will only be able to count scores for the amount of teammates of the team with the lowest turnout.  So, Kaleb's team had 13 teammates who had PG accounts, therefore we will only count the top 13 scores from each teams.  Players who's scores are not included in this events tallies will still be entered into the individual rankings. If only it were that simple...

      While I'd love to get to the meat of the matter right now, there's just one more thing to note (which again, applies only to Kaleb's team): Subo, who DOES have a PG account, missed picking for this event.  Yep.  You read that right. Kaleb's first round pick shafted him by not even bothering to click "Mike Lullo."   Therefore, ALL TEAMS SCORE TOTALS WILL CONSIST OF THEIR TOP 13 SCORES, WHILE "TEAM BUSINESS AS USUAL'S" TOTAL WILL CONSIST OF ALL 12 OF THEIR SUBMITTED SCORE, WITH THEIR LOWEST COUNTING TWICE.  

 Without further ado-

BE Civil War Team Results- Event 1 

Note: these scores are post adjustments- raw scores after the jump

1)   Signed, Pick Em Champs- 900

2)  K-1 Level Predictions Team- 883

3)Spinning Fish- 737

4) Jackie Treehorn's Trampoline- 735

Last) Business as Usual- 603

BE Civil War Top 5  Individual High Scores- Week 1

1) crazybones (K-1)- 90

2) lowellthehammer (Pick Em)- 88

T3) Jeffigatame (Pick Em)- 84

T3) sun yue (Pick Em)-84

5) Joben (JTT)- 82

Full results after the jump, including everyone's scores and both pre and post penalty scores.

Pick Em Champs (1st Place)

(C) lowellthehammer (88) (SUCK IT)
Jeffigatame (84)
sun yue (84)
alicks (78)
skeebop (77)
ElliotMatheny (76)
mountaineers101 (73)
King of the Dogs (72)
krCampbell (66)
inthepipes (54)
bcpjkell (52)
Robert Cowan (49)
tats16 (47)
zombiehobbes (46)
duck (30)

original total- 976

Official total- 900

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K-1 Level Predictions Team (2nd Place)

crazybones - 90 cmons - 76 FightingFighting - 76 Nacirema Dream - 74 lanky6 - 72 TomFlynn - 69 StevenGiles - 68 Snatchl - 67 Manch1ld - 66
(C) zakkree- 63
Andy_Davis - 59 KMcCaig (slimdigg) - 53 Shotokanman (doctorjekyll) - 50 dgonz - 47 Fedorable - 25

original total = 955 Official total- 883

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Team: Spinning Fish (3rd)

(C)Horselover Fat- 79
Paulo Filho's Psych. (inadvertantgroinstrike)- 73
Empty Thoughts- 71
Body Triangle- 64
chris81203- 63
memitim- 57
Ulf Murphy- 55
Afrotikimann- 53
womderful spam- 51
bonesthebaptist- 48
sday420- 45
Dark Carnival- 44
SteveeaD- 44
Monte Fisto-41
ludakrish- 33

original total- 821

Official total- 737

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Jackie Treehorn's Trampoline (4th)

Joben (82)
Pookie Gnome (66)
MDH (64)
NoahWob (64)
(C) JDH (57)
Imaginary Enemy (53)
Balrog (52)
pridedaze09 (52)
TitanFan2K (51)
Milk72 (51)
Our Bovine Public (51)
19Miles (47)
nitecastle (45)
Bomedoctor (30)
Kingatrock (15) 

original total- 780

Official total- 735

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Team Business as Usual (LAST)

GSam Cupitt- 80
fedornuthugger- 80
(C)Kaleb- 63
hendo one shot- 66
farthammer-64
LBO-51
av1O3- 47
Luke Nelson- 33
Hardy's in your face- 31
halitosis- 27
Choro- 21
Rollo- 20

<-------------------International Douche Line-------------------->

MMARazorback- 0 (no PG profile found)
Bo knows MMA- 0 (no P profile found)
Subo- 0 (profile found- no picks made)

original total- 583

Official total- 603

Congrats to lowell's team on a dominating performance- 3 out of the top 5 is impressive.  But, there's a long way to go and if last night was any indication, we ain't seen shit yet.  Keep your eyes posted for "This Week in BE Civil War Failures"- you're not gonna want to miss it. 

I love you all.

Hair Fuhrer