Dear Dennis Hallman's Junk,
Is it ok if I call you junk? Is there a different name you'd prefer? Dennis' Longman? Is that what you would like? I'll await your response in the comments. If it takes you a while to type you can just have your owner Dennis Hallman write it for you.
Anyways, the reason why I'm writing is to say, I SEENT YOU. I SEENT YOU ON THE TELEVISION WIF MY EYES!
You caused quite a stir. In fact, you have a bunch of people in a tizzy about you. They're pissed.
I think I speak for everybody when I say that I just wish you were Akiyama's penis so everybody would be happy instead of sad.