FanPost

*Insert funny title*

So this has been a pretty interesting week or so in MMA and there has been quite a bit of lively debate. Please bear in mind i'm absolutely exagerrating this stuff for (poor) comedic effect. If I offend you please write me an open letter. (I totally stole that by the way, credit to the funny people who got there before me)

I'm going to attempt to be as impartial as possible, something I do well on account of being fucking amazing at apathy, thanks to my incredible talent for procrastination - I'm just too lazy to have an opinion.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, its... HALLMAN!

So the chances are if you're reading this you've already had your fill of "speedo-gate". For the lucky few who haven't - Denis Hallman came out to fight ebersole in what appeared to be a pair of bikini bottoms. There is quite a bit of debate about this that falls into a few camps (lol he said camp.):

Camp 1: You're all Homophobes!
These guys don't actually have an opinion on hallmans choice of shorts - they are far too sophisticated for that, these guys are instead talking about Dana White. Dana commented, essentially, that hallmans choice of "shorts" was ridiculous and embarassing and they would be getting banned from the octagon. The camp 1 war wagon read that as "AHHH, I FUCKING HATE GAY PEOPLE!".

Camp 2: I'm not a homophobe, I just don't like gay people!
Here you have those people who think Dana was right to say what he did, but don't want to be seen as homophobic. They think speedos should be banned but, like, they have gay friends, for realsies you guys! - it's not like they're homophobes, seriously, it's all bout efficiency and... OH GOD DID I JUST SEE A WANG?"

Camp 3: Won't anyone think of the chest hair!?
In this corner we have the people who think speedos are fine, but a goddamn ARROW on the other hand... Who cares if dicks are flopping about the octagon, dicks are perfectly natural and hell, the greeks used to do pankration naked anyway! I don't see any greeks with shaved chest hair though! What a mockery!

More after the jump...

Rabid Rabbits!

This debate is about the recent "punches to the back of the head" issue. For those of you who missed it, Dan Henderson KO'd Fedor  and landed a couple of punches to the back of the head during his ground and pound flurry, Then Vitor Belfort done the same to Yoshihiro Akiyama. Again we have 3 pretty distinct positions on this.

Camp 1: THATS FUCKING ILLEGAL! 
Pretty self explanatory but these are the folks who think as soon as a blow of questionable legality lands, regardless of intent or the situation, the fight should be stopped and counselling offered. Bonus points to those of you who get the title reference

Camp 2: Brain damage? what brain damage?
 No but seriously, he was already hurt. Everyone know it's cool to punch a guy on the back of the head if you're winning! The argument here tends to be that, hell, the guy was going to lose anyway! who cares! If they don't want brain damage they shouldn't give up their backs, should they?

Camp 3:  If you think THATS bad...
Here we have the guys whose argument doesn't actually involve what happened at all, but something completely different - "We allow slams and those have enough force to send the back of your head through the mat all the way to a goddamn Jules Verne novel!"

Inglorious Gold

Here we have the firesale on dutch MMA fighters from Zuffa - specifically the Golden Glory team. Now this story is still emerging in bits and pieces and all the facts are far from in place - even so we have some pretty well drawn battle lines...

Camp 1: Dana White is EVIL!
It's clear that Dana fired all of these people because he hates alistair overeem! Probably because he's BLACK. I mean think about it, it totally makes sense that Dana is a racist. He's an asshole, and all racists are assholes! Also, Dana screwed Overeem by having the ref ring the bell in his fight in montreal when he didn't even tap!

Camp 2: Dana White is a GENIUS!
When was the last time you ran a billion dollar corporation huh? huh? Yeah thats what I thought. How about you shut the fuck up until you do then? Dana is clearly right about everything ever, you can have an opinion on his actions when YOU run the UFC goddamit! Also have you noticed how the light relects from his head like a halo? ...Man Dana is handsome. I'm going to go tweet him now instead of using the internet.

 

Camp 3: The Sky is falling, the sky is falling!
OH GOD, MMA IS DOOMED! First low buy rates now THIS? This doesn't happen in the NFL! Overeem was going to be the new lesnar and take us to the promised land carrying us in his sculpted arms and now we are doomed. We can never know who the best heavyweight really is now. WHATS THE POINT ANYMORE!?

TIIITOOOOOO

This is all about Tito pulling off an incredible rocky victory over Ryan Bader and then agreeing to fight Rashad Evans on short notice. Like a boss.

Camp 1: HOLY SHIT!
Did you see what Tito just done? MAN thats impressive

Camp 2: Jesus Chris
You're not kidding! And he saved UFC 133, Titos balls are the only thing on earth bigger than his head! Even on short notice he still gave a damn good attempt!

Camp 3: That's what she said!

\The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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