The only thing you'll read all week that doesn't feature Chael Sonnen trolling.
As far as you know.
Friday August 26
1:00am MMA Live (ESPN2)
9:00am UFC 134 Countdown (Spike TV)
4:00pm The Voice Versus Sugar Ray Leonard (HDNet)
4:30pm MMAthletics (FSN)
5:00pm Best of Dream.16 (HDNet)
7:00pm MMAthletics (FSN)
8:00pm Countdown to UFC 134 (HDNet)
8:00pm Hector Serrano vs. Juan Garcia (FSN)
9:00pm Inside MMA w/Marloes Coenen, Michael Bisping, Fabricio Werdum (HDNet)
9:00pm UFC Unleashed (Spike TV)
9:00pm Legend Fighting Championship (Fuel TV)
10:00pm UFC Unleashed (Spike TV)
10:00pm Legend Fighting Championship (Fuel TV)
10:00pm Shooto Brazil: Fight For B.O.P.E. (HDNet)
11:00pm UFC Unleashed (Spike TV)
Saturday August 27
12:00am Legend Fighting Championship (Fuel TV)
1:00am Legend Fighting Championship (Fuel TV)
1:00am Countdown to UFC 134 (HDNet)
1:30am MMAthletics (FSN)
2:00am Inside MMA w/Marloes Coenen, Michael Bisping, Fabricio Werdum (HDNet)
3:00am Shooto Brazil: Fight For B.O.P.E. (HDNet)
11:30am 2011 World Judo Championships (ESPN3)
4:00pm Best of It's Showtime (HDNet)
5:30pm Inside MMA w/Marloes Coenen, Michael Bisping, Fabricio Werdum (HDNet)
6:00pm Evolution Fighting Championships 7 (Gofightlive $9.99)
7:00pm UFC 134 Countdown (Spike TV)
7:30pm Star Boxing at the Tropicana (Gofightlive $9.99)
8:00pm UFC 134 Prelims (Spike TV)
9:00pm UFC 134: Silva vs. Okami (Pay-Per-View)
10:00pm MMAthletics (FSN)
Sunday August 28
1:00am ProElite 1 (Sherdog)
2:00am Legend Fighting Championship (Fuel TV)
10:30am 2011 World Judo Championships (ESPN3)
5:30pm MMAthletics (FSN)
6:00pm Hector Serrano vs. Juan Garcia (FSN)
Under the Radar: Names that aren't on American broadcasted shows this week.
Katsunori Kikuno vs. Mizuto Hirota (August 26, DEEP 55 Impact, Korakuen Hall, Tokyo, Japan)
Amanda Lucas vs. Hikari Shinohara (August 26, DEEP 55 Impact, Korakuen Hall, Tokyo, Japan)
Ryuta Sakurai vs. Katsuyori Shibata (August 26, DEEP 55 Impact, Korakuen Hall, Tokyo, Japan)
Jesse Juarez vs. Manuel Rodriguez (CFC 18: Juarez vs. Rodriguez, August 26, Big Top Stadium at Luna Park, Sydney, Australia)
Antonio McKee vs. Jai Bradney (CFC 18: Juarez vs. Rodriguez, August 26, Big Top Stadium at Luna Park, Sydney, Australia)
Hector Lombard vs. Jesse Taylor (Australian Fighting Championship 2, August 27, Melbourne, Australia)
Dan Severn vs. Rick Vardell (Gladiator Challenge: Unleashed, August 27, Thunder Valley Casino Resort, Lincoln, California)
Alexander Povetkin vs. Ruslan Chagaev (August 27 Messehalle, Erfurt, Germany)
Best Viewing Options: A man who once called his ex-girlfriend's mom "sir" to her face attempts to impart wisdom on you, probably unsuccessfully.
1. UFC 134: Unfortunately, I won't be able to join you lovely lads for the live thread, I'll be at a bachelor-party weekend in upstate New York trying to find a bar where I can punch someone who backtalked Chael Sonnen. Hold down the fort without me, gents.
2. Shooto Brazil: Fight For B.O.P.E.: Ah, it's like Fight For The Troops, only judging from the picture that was provided on BE, those troops are NCR Rangers from Fallout: New Vegas.
3. Inside MMA: MARLOES! (swoon). Those of you that aren't following Marloes are missing out. Her American tour, without being patronizing, has been adorable. I'd tune in every week for Marloes taking in the midwest. She's a good egg, people.
4. UFC 134 Countdown: I've explained this before, but the differences in Countdowns are that Spike tends go more emotional (for the last time ever), while HDNet is more technical, but after months and weeks of analyzing every angle, I'm ready to sit back and get pumped up, so Spike's Countdown usually gets the nod (for the last time ever.)
5. Countdown to UFC 134: See above.
6. ProElite: Lord only knows how this will turn out. Trainwreck? POSSIBLE!! Abortion?? MAYBE!! Without a hitch?!?! LESS THAN LIKELY!!
7. 2011 World Judo Championships: Sure, people will tell you that wrestling is the best base, and they're probably right. But judo is a base that makes fights fucking fun. Watch the next Akiyama, Ishii, Rousey, or Karo.
8. Star Boxing at the Tropicana: Not a bad card here at all. Pretty solid. Vinny Maddalone, who just fought a big-time card against Tomasz Adamek, Shamone Alvarez, Kevin Rooney, Althea Saunders, Christopher Fernandez, Mike Sheppard. Not bad at all.
9. MMA Live: Kenny Florian has Top-10 P4P hair. Kennedy hair.
10. Evolution Fighting Championships 7: Another thin week. Man, I miss Friday Night Fights already.
: Another thin week. Man, I miss Friday Night Fights already.
BV Loses You Money: Five wagers that will have you using your betting slips not for writing, but for ROLLING DOOBIES.
Last Weekend's Hangover:
If you put down $100 on each of my predictions last week, you'd have today:
BV Lost You: -
On the Year: -$170
Forrest Griffin +190 Mauricio Rua
Dan Miller +205 Rousimar Palhares
Alexander Povetkin -575 Ruslan Chagaev
Raphael Assuncao -172 Johnny Eduardo
Paulo Thiago -400 David Mitchell
Lines courtesy of BetCRIS
Your YouTube Finale: Someone who couldn't be more thrilled at Tim Tebow's epic failure of a year thus far tries to duck and weave your Christian hatred to finish strong.
Kaitlin Young vs Meisha Tate (via Toushirox)