TWIQ: MMA Quotes for the Week of July 24 - 30

 MORE NICKNAMES THAN BRIAN ADAMS HAS GIMMICKS

"[Fedor is] going to be a little more mobile bouncing around and a little more offensive that first round." - Dan Henderson, on Saturday night's opponent, Fedor Emelianenko. Emelianenko was more than a little offensive in the first round. He came out slugging until Dan caught him coming forward with a left hook. (ESPN UK)

"Obviously Fedor is real dangerous whether he's in shape or out of shape. ... I've seen him where he's really out of shape and he still knocks guys out or pulls through and win the fights." - Henderson. Emelianenko weighed in for the fight at 223 pounds, the lightest he's fought at his entire career.

"You can’t think you’ve got him hurt and rush in and pull a Pat Barry." - Henderson, who just did for "Barry" what Kingpin did for "Munson." (Sherdog)

"[T]hat first round is going to be crucial." - Henderson, who finished Emelianenko -- albeit with some controversy -- at 4:12 of the first round.

MEDIOCRE TRASH TALK IS MEDIOCRE

"I'm not a puppy anymore. I'm a big dog in the game now. It's not going to be the same." - Rashad Evans. Evans and Tito Ortiz fought to a draw at UFC 73, back when George W. was still pretending to be President. (MMA Torch)

"I always love paybacks. I'm getting the opportunity to fulfill what I've always wanted to do and that was beat him." - Tito Ortiz (UFC.com)

"He's going to be making a mistake even stepping into the cage with me, let alone [trying to] stand with me." - Evans, suggesting Ortiz adopt Rich Franklin's strategy of taking a knee after the opening bell.

"I've changed 100-percent since then, physically and mentally." - Ortiz, with his buzzed and bleached blond hair, uttering phrases with little basis in reality. 

THE PENN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD

"It's a catch-22 for me. I believe so strongly in fair play and all these things, and on the other side, it's people you know and people you look up to, legends of the sport." - B.J. Penn, on speaking out about TRT and PEDs. (MMA Fighting)

"They look at me and they hear me say these things, and they're like, 'You know you're the only guy that doesn't do it, right?' And I'm like, I know." - Penn, who was then lowered into the chamber to be frozen in carbonite. The Rebellion is currently putting together a strikeforce to rescue him.

"I always believed that technique is what it was all about. ... I always believed the needle is not the answer." - Penn, still stuck on this New York Times crossword clue: stylus, for phonographs (6 letters).

WHITE NOISE

"I don't feel vindicated. Listen, I'm not out to hurt Fedor, or hurt any fighter. People ask me my opinions, I give you my opinion on what I think about a fighter." - UFC President Dana White, speaking to a group of Vegas school children. (Sports Illustrated)

"I think that I know a little bit about the fight business. ... I didn't think that Kimbo Slice could win The Ultimate Fighter. I thought the Fedor hype was ridiculous." - Whtie, who also correctly predicted Rocky's victory over Ivan Drago and Joey Buttafucco defeating Joanie "Chyna" Laurer.

"If he knocks out Dan Henderson, he knocks out a 185-pounder. If he gets knocked out, he just got knocked out by a 185-pounder." - White. Dan Henderson weighed in at 207 pounds.

"You put him on free TV because I believe in that model. I believe that you put great fights with great fighters on free TV." - White, on Dominick Cruz defending his title on sports cable channel Versus. The UFC will air their ninth pay-per-view (out of an estimated fifteen) this Saturday.

PARTING SHOTS

"I'm going to try to kill her, I really am. I'm going to try to get to the point where the referee is fearful of her life and stops the fight, that's my goal." - Miesha Tate, putting the final touches on her eyeshadow. (TheSHOOT!)

"I learned a valuable -- or maybe I should say 'expensive' -- lesson at the weekend: Don't text and drive!" - Tito Ortiz, fighting for car repairs this Saturday. (Cage Writer)

"The strength, the recovery, pound-for-pound power. I mean, it’s a potent ... it’s the male sex hormone." - USADA Chief Executive Officer Travis Tygart, doing a great job of selling me on the benefits of steroids. (Sherdog)

"I tried to ignore the pain until now, thinking I had just sprained the knee. I kept training without using my legs. I wanted to get to the fight in a good condition somehow, but the MRI diagnosed that I broke my ligaments, and now I can't fight!" - Alessio Sakara, or How Not to Deal With Injuries. (MMA Fighting)

"I want to win the Strikeforce heavyweight title. That's what I came out here to do, and the way I see things, that's the logical conclusion to all this, and create a good example with it." - Josh Barnett (MMA Junkie)