FIFTEEN MINUTES OF AWESOME
"I’m at a point in my career where I need to be fighting main events and main event fighters." - Jon Fitch, who should adopt a Steve Corino-type gimmick where he chides fans for enjoying sloppy wrestleboxing brawls. (MMA Weekly)
"And if you don’t have a belt, currently, or you haven’t owned a belt in the UFC, I’m not really interested." - Fitch. Here's something to mess with your brain: If we cloned Jon Fitch, Jon Fitch would not be interested in fighting said clone.
"I’ve gone out of my way throughout my career to just fight everybody they put in front of me and it’s cost me dearly." - Fitch, underrating the value of fighting Akihiro Gono on an untelevised prelim in his first fight following his loss to GSP at UFC 87.
"I kind of had a talk with Rashad Evans during the expo up in Canada." - Fitch. That sound you just heard was Dana White throwing up in his mouth a little bit.
"I want BJ or GSP. Those are the only two guys I care (to fight) or have any interest in right now. If I (have to) sit out a year and wait for them, I’ll do it." - Fitch, with a bluff that Dana White just might call.
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, CAREER RETIRE YOU
"I think that if Fedor loses to Dan Henderson, he will retire from mixed martial arts." - M-1 generalissimo Vadim Finkelstein, who will then relegate Fedor Emelianenko to a work camp in Siberia, where the former Pride champion will churn out M-1 Global press releases. (LowKick.com)
"And like I said many times before, it will be his decision and we (M-1 Global) have no influence of any kind on whatever he decides to do." - Finkelstein. Just like how he retired after the Silva fight, but independently and autonomously decided to change his mind a few weeks later?
"Fedor is very motivated, and will be more than ready for this fight. He has a new goal, and is fully concentrated on reaching it." - Finkelstein
SPEAKING OF RETIREMENT
"Most importantly I want to spend more time with my family. My daughter is four years old and I can't tell you how much of her life I've missed dedicating my life to training for fights." - Pellegrino. Tim Kennedy strolled along and was all, "LOL, bro. Ur life as a fighter iz nt at all what shoulders been thru,"
"You have to find the best people to train with, and I think [Okami] chose wrong. I’d never align myself with a loser, a loser in every sense." - Anderson Silva, on UFC: Rio opponent Yushin Okami, who has been training with Chael Sonnen and Team Quest. (Sherdog)
"He didn’t win the fight [between us] and got caught doping. You want to be a champion? Get with good people, with winners." - Silva. Like, say, noted non-doper and seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong.
"Moreover, Sonnen wasn’t a tough opponent for me. I was injured with cracked ribs and fought five rounds. If I hadn’t been injured, the fight would have been different." - Silva
"Joe Rogan recently made an offensive statement reflecting a personal opinion that does not represent the UFC in any way. I have addressed this directly with Joe." - UFC President Dana White, with the entirety of the UFC's official statement on Joe Rogan and "Cuntygate." (UFC.com)
"I thought Roy looked terrible tonight. I thought it was terrible. I thought it was embarrassing." - White, on Roy Nelson's performance at UFC 130. Nelson later revealed that he dealt with walking pneumonia. (Cagewriter)
"The biggest misconception is that we’re all dumb bimbos. In reality, we’re all smart. I’m very smart. I’ve managed to get other gigs and make a nice living out of this platform of being a UFC girl." - Arianny Celeste. Anyone who can dupe a music studio exec into producing this abortion must be a genius. (MadeMan.com)
"For me, I don't care about the other title. The title that means the most to me is UFC. It's the most prestigious one." - Georges St. Pierre, taking a dump on the long lineage of the Strikeforce welterweight title. (Canadian Press)
"I'll be fighting Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson next. I'm not allowed to discuss the date because I didn't sign a contract, but yeah, it will be very soon." - Jon Jones. Quack, quack. (MMA Junkie)