So I don't know if you guys are aware, but Colosseo FC is putting on another show on July 23rd. If you are unfamiliar with Colosseo, they are the organization that says "Unified rules? Fuck that guy." That's right, PRIDE NEVER DIE. This is a full MMA card that uses the PRIDE rule set from top to bottom. Soccer kicks, stomps, knees on the ground, and no elbows to the face. 10 minute first round! Yellow cards for stalling! Oh, the glory. And this is goin' down right in my backyard. Feel free to turn green with envy, fuckers. Just kidding! I love you guys.

How is this even possible, you ask? How can these people get an event with PRIDE rules sanctioned in North America? By the special pixie magic of a beautiful land known as THE RESERVE. You see, THE RESERVE essentially functions as an autonomous "Nation within a Nation", so basically these people can do whatever they want, and what they want is cheap gas and head stomping. This event, while still technically within in the confines of North America, will be sanctioned under the International Combative Sports Association. So the dubs count people, the dubs count.

Not only do the dubs count, but there is some pretty good names on here as well. Gilbert Yvel, one of the most insanely violent men to ever step through the ropes, returns to the rule set that he enjoyed the most success under. He faces the prolific Tony Lopez, former simultaneous LHW and HW KOTC title holder and all around badass mofo. This guy has fought 27 times since 2008, and he has 2 fights lined up for the 3 week period before his fight with Yvel. This is what we call a "Tough Motherfucker". Between Lopez' Iron constitution and Gilbert's propensity for violence we are going to have one hell of a fight, to say the very least. At most we may have an "incident of the year" candidate.

Other notables rumored to be on the card include Marius Zaromskis, Shane Nelson, and Antonio McKee. Always a pleasure to see the Whitemare in a ring, although his recent booking against Mach in Japan 7 days prior makes me think we won't be seeing him in Alberta come the 23rd. I'm crossing my fingers for another quick headkick KO so I can see one live (followed of course by head stomps). Mckee has been uncharacteristically silent regarding his upcoming bout with Jorge Britto, or maybe nobody is covering him after his verbal assault on Dana and consequent bed-shitting. I'm interested to see what McKee brings to the table when he can get upkicked from any position and yellow carded for lay and pray. I don't know anything about Britto, but if he has any kind of guard I see a long night ahead for McKee.

Colosseo has also just signed Brazilian wrecking machine and UFC cast-off Miguel Falcao to a 3 fight deal, rumors have him competing as early as September, but I'm sure the guy is hungry for some fights so with any luck we may get a last minute big-name booking for this July 23rd. A guy with his skill set under PRIDE rules would be a terrifying opponent for any Welterweight, and a guaranteed spectacle reminiscent of 2003 Wandy. Here's to hoping!

Did I forget to mention the Lenne Hardt (that crazy PRIDE lady) will be announcing the fighters entrances? Because she totally is. Did I also forget to mention the Yuji "STOP!" Shimada will be officiating the contests? Because he is. DId I mention, by any chance, that there will be an insane Taito drum setup and a PRIDE logo on the ring? Ok I made that last part up, but wouldn't that be the shit?

So I'm kind of torn here. On the one hand I wanted to get insanely twisted in order to allow my blood-lust unfettered access to my psyche, and I of course want to be on the same mental level of my associates accompanying me. On the other, I feel this strange compulsion to forgo my usual substance abuse and instead bring my new Nikon D3100, get some great pics, and write a hilarious and informative article covering the event for my fellow BEers.

What say you, heathens?