I’m a fairly well-connected member of the MMA media community, so I wasn’t the least bit surprised when I walked past Fabricio Werdum last night on the streets of Dallas. Fabricio was lying flat on his back, legs splayed open, shamelessly begging passers-by to get into his guard, so I obliged him.

Werdum, begging people to get into his guard. "It will be nice!", says Werdum. Via 1.bp.blogspot.com

What follows is the transcript of our conversation.

Me: Hi Fabricio.

Fabricio Werdum: Hello! I love Dallas!

Me: Can you explain your strategy for last night’s fight with Alastair Overeem, Fabricio?

FW: Please, call me Fab.

Me: You should know after last night that people don’t always indulge you your requests, Fabricio.

FW: Is fair enough. My strategy was bait Overeem to playing jiu-jitsu with me.

Me: But you were doing so well in the stand-up! Why did you keep on flopping to your back?

FW: I thought that if I do good in stand-up, Overeem think he good at jiu-jitsu, and he go into my guard.

Me: Puzzling logic. How did that work out for you?

FW: It not work. Now I have sadness.

Werdum, looking sad. Via evilmaster.files.wordpress.com

Me: Jeez, you don’t look sad.

FW: It was trick! I bait you!

Me: I think you’ve become too obsessed with baiting people after your successful Fedor-baiting.

FW: You are right. I go back to my old ways.

Me: Good! I want to see the Fabricio of old!

FW: No! Is another trick!

Me: Fooled again. Well, unless you’re going to arm-bar me or something, I’m going to get out of your guard and go home.

FW: Wait! I come with you!

Me: Is this another trick?

FW: No, I really go. 

Fab's favorite restaurant. Via adage.com

Once I got out of his guard, he stood up over the course of seven minutes, and then we went off to Chili’s. However, I left in disgust after he kept on flopping to the ground every time I tried to get him to pay his half of the check. In retrospect, I should have gone to Alastair Overeem's party at the oxygen tent.  

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