SO MUCH FOR 280-POUND HEAVYWEIGHTS
"I think that the time for big, aggro, macho men has passed. Fighting now prioritizes intelligent fighters with a lot of strategy and a lot of preparation, who fight smart." - Junior dos Santos. Jesus, dude. It hasn't even been a month since Randy Savage passed away. (USA Today)
"I think of fighters like Georges St. Pierre and Anderson Silva as being smart fighters who utilize strategy to their advantage. I think that's the time we're in now." - Dos Santos, who has gone the distance in his last two fights. I can already hear the complaints about the new, less aggressive Junior dos Santos fighting safely to decisions.
"I was getting tired from hitting and hitting and hitting." - Dos Santos, on knocking down Carwin in the first round. Did referee Herb Dean stop the fight? (MMA Torch)
"[Dean] didn't stop the fight, so I asked him, 'Hey, stop the fight.' He said, 'Keep going, keep going, keep going.'" - Dos Santos, who responded, "Mr. Dean, I really do insist on you stepping in and putting a halt to the proceedings here." Unfortunately, Herb Dean wanted to see more machismo and aggression before stopping the fight.
QUENTIN TARANTINO'S JOSH KOSH
"But right now, he’s not even a B level fighter so I’m not taking him serious. If he does want to fight me and run his mouth and continue to run his mouth personally, then we can settle this. I’ll fight him at 185 for the fans." - Josh Koscheck, welterweight, on Stephan Bonnar, light heavyweight. (Site That Shall Not Be Named - do not click unless you love slideshows and exploitative SEO practices!)
"I started a new t-shirt line called Trash Talking Kids, kinda a parody of the old Garbage Pail Kids from the 80's except with UFC fighters." - Stephan Bonnar. Oh jesus. I guess this is marginally better than skulls and chains. (Five Knuckles)
"He got wind of it and he didn't like it and I tried to explain it to him firsthand." - Stephan Bonnar. Hm, I wonder...you didn't caricaturize him as a Cabbage Patch doll, did you?
"His version is called Josh Koshbygosh and he kinda looks like a Cabbage Patch doll, because he really does." - Stephan Bonnar
"Anyway, so he didn't like it." - Stephan Bonnar
"He's never got any paperwork from my attorney's or my managers to do this shirt. He's never contacted me and he was told not to do it, he put me in breach and I had no other choice." - Koscheck (Holy crap, the apostrophe use by both Five Knuckles and Bleacher Report has been terrible thus far.)
"So if anyone rubs me the wrong way, it'll be Koscheck for sicking his lawyers on me. I would drop a lot of weight to fight him." - Bonnar. Whoa, slow down there, Stephan. We wouldn't want to keep you from fighting the Igor Pokrajacs and Karlos Vemolas of the world!
"Now, Stephan Bonnar is calling me out and it's absurd, that p**** really needs to think about who he's calling out because when he becomes a B level fighter, then I'll take him serious." - Josh Koscheck
BABYFACED ASSASSIN (GONNA KILL YO' PROMOTION)
"He has to get licensed with the state, and he's getting his bloodwork in, his testing in, his paperwork done." - Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker, on the status of Josh Barnett's licensing in Texas. As of June 8, Texas has yet to license him. (Cagewriter)
"You can only get the bloodwork done within 30 days of the fight. That's how the process works." - Coker. Within thirty days of the fight would put us at...May 19. So, yeah, coulda had his bloodwork done, no?
"We had a conversation with Josh a few weeks ago, saying what needs to be done, and he's been doing it. He has to clear his medicals, but we're not foreseeing any issues." - Coker. Neither was Affliction.
"Great for the UFC and the Fertittas. Brilliant, brilliant move." - Former EliteXC promoter Gary Shaw, on Zuffa's acquisition of Strikeforce. (Fight Hub TV)
"For the fighters? Terrible move because they don't have another place to go and bargain." - Shaw
"Anytime you force fans to [buy] pay-per-view for every single card you put on, then you're screwing the fans. Not every card is a pay-per-view value." - Shaw, blisfully ignorant of the two free shows the UFC is putting on this month, plus the semi-free Strikeforce show this weekend.
YO SHANE, YOU WERE LINKED TO SOME STEROIDS. ANY COMMENT ON THAT?
"Ah, you know, there's, there's uh, there's nothing for me to comment on that." - Carwin. Well, sounds innocent to me!
"From this day forward as we speak right here, right now today, every fight that is a main event that is not a title fight will be a five round fight." - UFC President Dana White. I'm comfortable sitting down here, thanks. No, really. I'm fine here. I swear, I can see your newborn from here, she's adorable. Seriously, I don't want to stand up, OK? Stop it. Let go of me, John. I HAVE A HUGE BONER RIGHT NOW, JESUS. (MMA Weekly)
"Actually, a week before he retired, Shaq called me and [said] he wants to be involved in the UFC somehow. ... He said, ‘Listen, I’m gonna have a lot of free time on my hands. I love this sport, I want to get involved. I want to be a part of it.’'" - White, on the recently retired Shaquille O'Neal. I want to make a joke about Shaq's playing weight and free time, but goddamn if I wouldn't love the Big Aristotle working with the UFC. (5thRound.com)
"It's very frustrating and it's horrible." - White, on reader voting in the 2011 Bloody Elbow Tournament of Bad. (Heavy.com)
"You're watching a television monitor and you still come up with a 30-27 in these fights? You should never judge another fight as long as you live." - White, on some of the bizarre cards turned in at UFC 131 in Vancouver.
"Now, as these things are happening, I have people running around fixing all the problems that are happening that I'm reading on Twitter." - White, on using Twitter during events. You hear that, Bloodstain Lane? He's got people running around "fixing" all the problems. Watch yo' back, son. (ESPN)
"Junior Dos Santos can't match my wrestling skills. I've been wrestling since I was six years old." - Shane Carwin. UFC 131 takedown stats: Shane Carwin 1-3 Junior dos Santos 2-2. (ESPN UK)
"There does not appear to be widespread support in the Assembly for this legislation." - Speaker of the New York Assembly Sheldon Silver, effectively killing a bill to regulate mixed martial arts in the state of New York. (NY Daily News)
'I started hearing people, 'He’s just dry humping him, stand them up! He's not doing anything!' ... I started hearing these things, and I was like, 'Man, I don't want to win another fight just by laying in the mount.' ... I went for attacks. I went for it and I paid the price." - Miguel Torres, on a controversial decision loss to Demetrious Johnson. Sounds like Miguel had a visit from Carwin's ol' friend Lactic, the Acid Monster. (Sherdog)
"I get it all the time. 'Who are you fighting next, Kenny?' Well, some regular guy on the street, I'm fighting Jose Aldo, er, I'm fighting Diego Nunes. They have no idea who Diego Nunes is. 'Alright, well who has the belt at 145?' Jose Aldo. They have no idea who Jose Aldo is." - Kenny Florian, adding, "And then they're like, "Wait, who are you?" and I tell them I'm Kenny fucking Florian." (Sherdog)