The Bro Hug: An Art of Offense

Ah, the bro hug. After Jonathan Snowden posted an article about his dislike for bro hugs during fights, I thought to myself, is it possible that the bro hug can be used as a means of offense to your opponent? I mean, throw the honor and respect for a bit, but if you’re a fighter and you see your opponent approach you with arms wide open ready for some cuddlin’ (it rhymes, I know) and you think to yourself  "Screw you man, I’m gonna fuck you up.", here are some offensive moves that can be done after the setup that is the bro hug:

1. Bro hug to a trip and takedown – This is pretty easy to pull off, as both fighters bodies are close to each other, not to mention the feet are also very close. A trip to the feet causing your opponent to lose a bit of balance plus basic takedown knowledge, and the fact that your opponent have no f’n clue you’re gonna take him down equals TD-1, Bro hug-0
2. Bro hug to pull guard – This is pretty self-explanatory, but will only apply if you’re really good fighting off your back because if your opponent starts dropping bombs on you senseless then prepare yourself from further ridicule.
3. Bro hug to an arm triangle choke – Actually, this move would require the takedown before going in for the arm triangle. Once you’ve place your arms in the correct position of your opponents neck/upper body (while hugging of course), force a takedown. You have to maintain that your feet are in the perfect position so that when you take him down, you’ll end up in side control. Tighten the choke, and voila!
4. Bro hug to rear naked choke – Speed and loving eye contact will be the key to this as you’ll need to convince your opponent to engage in a sweet and endearing hug, only for you to duck under his arms, take his back, grapevine his body and strangle his neck like there’s no tomorrow.
5. Bro hug to overhead suplex – You have to have enormous strength and technique to pull this off. As you hug your opponent, your arms must be clasped around his body. This will be the perfect scenario for Jon Jones and Rashad Evans. After 4 back and forth rounds, each fighter is 2-2 on the judges’ scorecards. Both of them, realizing they’ve pushed themselves to their limits, decide to hug it out before the beginning of the final round. But Jones knows that to be a star, he must embrace his inner diva, he must do something out of the norm for him to stand out. As he and Rashad close the distance, Jones hands are wrapped around Rashad’s body. With blood in their faces and beaming smiles, BOOM, overhead suplex. And it’s all over.