What's Next for Scott Coker?

As most of you know by now, MMA organization Strikeforce was purchased by UFC parent company Zuffa a couple of weeks ago. (If you missed it, or just want a refresher, check out our previously published article HERE). It was shocking news to just about everyone. The reverberations have only begun to be felt in the mixed martial arts community. For me, the true "reality is setting in" moment was seeing the Strikeforce ad that ran during UFC 128. But I digress.

Since the day the news was announced, we've been fed the line "business as usual". Supposedly, nothing will change. If you believe Dana, Scott Coker will keep doing his thing, Dana and the Fertitta's will do theirs, and everyone will get along like one big happy family. 

I feel like Dana may as well have given Coker the baseball GM's "Vote of Confidence" for his team's manager (aka: the kiss of death). Business as usual? Really? How is that possible? He has something you want. In fact, he has a lot of somethings you want. It's insulting to everyone's intelligence to expect us to believe that you will continue to play nice, and that Scott Coker has a long term position with the company. If Scott Coker isn't currently working on dressing up his resume for monster.com, then he may be in for a rude awakening in the not-too-distant future.

It's all got me thinking: "What are some other jobs that Scott Coker could proficiently do?" Hence, the point of the article (I know....you were wondering if it'd ever come....relax....don't skip the foreplay...it's important). Here is a list of some jobs that I think Mr. Coker should look into. Remember, this is for entertainment purposes only. 

1) Shrek: The Broadway Musical....playing the part of, of course, Shrek himself. He's perfect for it. Before you tell me I'm being cruel, you're going to want to see this:

Ok, now you can say I'm being cruel. That's fine, but if you don't see the resemblance, you're not looking. This may be the part Scott was born to play. Ogres are often misunderstood. Ogres have layers. Scott's a complicated guy. No? Nothin'? Fine. This was just my first stab. I'll keep going.

2) A used car salesman. 

Think about it. Used car salesmen get paid to sell inferior products, all the while trying to convince the customer that it's infinitely better than it is. The only problem that this position may pose for Coker is that it generally requires not overpaying for the product in the first place so that you can make a profit. If he wants to keep his lot in business, he'll need to work on his purchasing skills/habits.



3) Dana White's punching bag.

If he took this job, he really would only be making it official. For the past few years, Coker has been the butt of White's jokes, and the brunt of his Twitter-rants (or giant smiley faces). As Heath Ledger's 'Joker' character said in The Dark Knight: "If you're good at something, never do it for free."

Alright that's all I got. All Photoshop work done by yours truly. Don't act like you're not impressed.

By Kevin Haggerty of MMA Buffet

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