MIKE GOLDBERG: A THOUSAND WORDS THIS PICTURE SAYS
"But here's the situation: Rashad Evans was scheduled to face 'Shogun' for the title. Rashad Evans is injured. He blew out his knee." - Joe Rogan, in his post-fight interview with Jon Jones at UFC 126. I would kill for a list of journalists who decided not to report this information. According to Luke Thomas, there's at least one of them out there. (UFC 126 telecast)
"The UFC wants to give you the opportunity to face 'Shogun' Rua for the light heavyweight championship of the world. Tell me how you're feeling right now." - Rogan. I'm going to guess he feels great. Maybe throws out a shout-out to Yahweh and Endicott, New York.
"I feel great. God is so good. I feel so great. Hats off to Endicott, New York. I'm going for a world title, baby! Let's do it!" - Jon Jones. God was too busy fixing the Super Bowl to accept Jones' praise.
"I fight for anyone, no problem. ... I'm a professional fighter. No problem." - Mauricio Rua
"I'm happy for [Jon] Jones, I think it's a great fight for him. I think Jones is gonna smash [Shogun] Rua." - Rashad Evans, whose decision to sit out and wait for "Shogun" looks awfully stupid in retrospect. (Fighters Only)
'I will go up to heavyweight or down to middleweight. But I will not fight Jon." - Evans
"Sometimes you get into some conflict and that's happened to me more than once, so now everyone feels as if I 've gone and matured or grown up or something, but that's just the way fighting is." - Nick Diaz, debunking journalists' tired narratives of his "maturation." (Cagewriter)
"If you're going to make it personal, then it's really going to be a personal thing. It's already personal. The guy who wins is going to go on and make a lot more money." - Diaz
"I'm not really impressed with Paul Daley as a mixed martial artist. He's got great standup and he's got good knockout power. I'm sure he knows what's going to happen if he steps in there and fights me." - Diaz
"This is hard stuff. I train hard everyday. I work more than eight hours days every day. And they're harder than your eight-hour days holding a camera. It's different. You can't do this, what I do. I think that money talks." - Diaz, sounding like a less violent Mike Tyson. (And answering a question about fighting Jason Miller.)
YOU GOTTA SEND A MANIAC TO MAKE FUN OF THE MAINEIAC
"It was bullshit. The sad part is the ref told the promoter and my corner he was sorry because he knew he made a mistake and stopped it a little early." - Tim Sylvia, on his 32-second knockout loss to Abe Wagner at last week's Titan Fighting Championship card. I'm pretty sure the sad part was that "Tim Sylvia is a part-time cop" vignette. (Five Ounces of Pain)
"I went into the fight with a bum knee and it got worse somehow during the fight so I go in for a MRI sometime this week and might need surgery. We will see." - Sylvia. The MRI came back positive for inflammation of the midsection.
'I will never fight at super heavyweight again. I fight much better at 265 so from here on out that’s what I am going to fight at." - Sylvia. "Local Athlete Claims To Perform Better When In Shape"
THE WEEK IN CHAEL
"Beating that poor punching bag doesn't impress Uncle Chael, guy." - Sonnen, following his instructions to a title company to pay $69,000 to a plumbing company for repairs.
"You tipped your hand like a chump poker player at a $5 table in Atlantic City. You may have beaten Vitor, but in the process, you LOST your edge." - Sonnen, in the midsts of tapping out to an armbar.
"By beating that husk, you gave me the last page of your playbook. Revel in your time, [because] it ENDS the night you face me. I will mow you down like autumn wheat, AGAIN." - Sonnen, being Sonnen.
'I'm gonna give you my assessment of the press conference. We just sat through 30 minutes of bulls***." - UFC President Dana White, on Anderson Silva's habitual press conference act. (Cagewriter)
"I'm going to be honest here -- I'm not going to be a promoter here, but let's be honest. This thing could be the most dynamic, incredible f***ing fight we've ever seen -- or the worst staring competition in the history of mankind." - Dana White, staring contest aficionado. (USA Today)
"The fans bitch about how the business is run sometimes, [but] we're able to put the fights we want to see because of how we run our business." - White, who fortunately refrained from making a football or baseball analogy.
"Now, imagine if in baseball the Yankees said, 'we don’t want to play the f***ing Red Sox.' You know what I mean, 'we don’t want to play them.' Or Green Bay, these guys both make it and Green Bay's like, 'yeah, we don’t want to play Pittsburgh, we hate Pittsburgh' or 'they're offering me more money to do something somewhere else. We just don't want to do this.' I mean, it makes no sense, right? The way that this thing is done makes sense." - White. Damnit.
"We can’t predict the future, but I believe he’s better than Anderson in all aspects." - Belfort trainer Rodrigo Artilheiro, unaware of Silva's penchant to capitalize on his opponents' sexual fetishes. (Tatame)
"I heard he was talking about some kind of homo-erotic fantasies he had with me, I don't know, go keep painting your hair it's like 'dude, what are you talking about? You want to have sex with a man?' You got problems man. You want me to go back to Brazil? Go back to Columbia and get some more coke or whatever." - Cesar Gracie, upset at Melvin Guillard for some reason. (MMA Fighting)
"Who will win with this are the fans, because it’ll be two monsters inside the cage trying to kill themselves." - Antonio Silva, describing the "existential crisis" bracket of Strikeforce's World Heavyweight Grand Prix. (Translations are fun.) (Bloody Elbow)
"Maybe it is God telling me that I have to return to the UFC, and that’s why I’m able to go back now." - Michihiro Omigawa. Like Joe Rogan, God's always pushing guys to cut weight.