There was a time when the world believed Fedor was the #1 Heavyweight in the world. In Japan, he had no equal. The world cried for Fedor to come to the Land of the Free, the Home of the Brave, The United States of America and take his place atop the throne of his division, King Fedor they would then refer to him as.

Despite many hostile negotiations, M-1 refused to agree with MMA Monopolist and UFC President Dana White under any circumstances, chanting "co-promotion!" Thus they relegated to the pudgy and easily manipulated Scott Coker, and Fedor joined the Strikeforce. 

However when he came to this place he once again avoided any real competition, he took a fight with a local mechanic and family man, Brett Rogers. Some will claim the bout was a legitimate battle between two skilled martial artists, others will claim it was a metaphor for communism being superior to a capitalist nation.

While a much more competitive and entertaining bout than anyone had expected, it proved nothing to the legacy of "The Lost Emperor". He had once again been presented with a chance at greatness, to face a man who is so muscular and manly some say he is no longer the mortal known as "Alistair Overeem", but was genetically modified to fuck your girlfriend. Such a match did not interest the management of Fedor, they said "Who has he beaten, not ONE mechanic!" and thus it was spoken, Overeem would first face a mechanic. With no other mechanics available Brett Rogers was told he must return to take an even harder pounding, his days of changing tires were over, soon a registered nurse would be changing his diapers.

Brett Rogers would survive the worst beating he ever received and thus M-1 was still not satisfied. They said "We will prove to you how ridiculous your challenge is by defeating a man who defeated you!"

Within a minute and one half, the world realized perhaps a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Black Belt with several other accolades, none of which being "Sam's Club Employee of the Month" was a bad idea.

Some called it an error, others, a mistake, but the few subscribers of Showtime saw Fedor suffer his first legitimate loss.

With the lack of media coverage and convenient black out of all American cable networks in Russia, the Fedor train continued chugging along. Much like the successful and difficult to understand Champion "Georges Rush St-Pierre", some claimed this loss would only make Fedor stronger! A new more powerful fighter will emerge!

Despite the patented "lose a high profile fight, get a title shot" formula of the Strikeforce Promotion and lack of more tradesmen to slaughter, a tournament would be created, with hopes of getting revenge on those who had wronged him. Early on M-1 began their tirade of claims "This is a tournament of chemists, not fighters, without rigorous testing we cannot allow Fedor to advance."

But it would never get to such a point, voodoo and chemistry aside, Fedor was defeated yet again by a man who probably had to change his own oil at some point because he is not overly successful and couldn't afford a Sam's Club membership.

He travelled across an ocean, most likely by boat, and failed on the biggest stage of his career. He was left humbled, broken, defeated.

Despite the satirical nature of this article, I don't hate Fedor, just bring light to the decisions he made which have brought him to where he currently is. He had a team of very unprofessional and foolish people guiding his career. While they probably all believe their choices were for the best, I think it is pretty clear that they were the worst decisions they could have made.

So when we look back at the career of Fedor Emelianenko, will we remember him as being the greatest heavyweight of his time or has he been exposed as "not that great after all"?