TWIQ: MMA Quotes for the Week of October 2 - 8

Chael Sonnen turned Brian Stann red, white, and blue at UFC 136. Photo by Josh Hedges/Zuffa LLC/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images

THE WEEK IN CHAEL

"Anderson Silva, you absolutely suck." - Chael Sonnen, talking to Joe Rogan after submitting Brian Stann at UFC 136. (UFC 136 telecast)

"Super Bowl weekend, the biggest rematch in the history of the business, I'm calling you out Silva, but we're upping the stakes." - Sonnen, before brandishing a brand new middleweight WAMMA belt.

"I beat you, you leave the division. You beat me, I will leave the UFC forever." - Sonnen. I love that there are people questioning whether Sonnen would really leave the UFC. Have you never watched pro wrestling? Loser-leaves-town stipulations NEVER stick.

"I do not like Anderson Silva. But I do not wish anything bad in life for him. I want to beat him, I want to do everything I can to him in the ring but I hope he has a great life." - Sonnen

NOTE: THE WEEK IN QUOTES IS SATIRE. MY TRIP TO LAS VEGAS IS NOT. ENJOY BLOODY BROOKHOUSE THIS WEEK.

NEVERENDING STORY

"It’s hard to say that it exists (a punishment by the UFC). Maybe so, maybe not, perhaps they’re keeping me on the sidelines, but I don’t believe that." - Lyoto Machida, on whether the UFC is holding out on him after asking for "Anderson Silva money." Meanwhile, back in Albuquerque... (Bloody Elbow)

"So in reality, he's kind of the one who's ducking the fight. I feel like he's ducking the fight." - Jon Jones. After tentative plans to fight Rashad Evans at UFC 140, Jones will instead fight the aforementioned Machida. (MMA Fighting)

"[Twenty-four] hours ago, my physician removed the pins. At that time, I learned that it would require another three weeks of rehabilitation before engaging in any exercise or training that would require the use of my hand." - Evans, who injured his hand in his victory over Tito Ortiz at UFC 133. (MMA Torch)

"We play a similar game. He kicks, I kick, he punches and goes to the ground, I can defend myself and take him down too." - Machida (Tatame)

WHITE NOISE

"He's actually quite pleasant on the phone. I can have a conversation with him forever on the phone now." - UFC President Dana White, on Brock Lesnar. The two anxiously await All My Children's move to the Online Network. (MMA Junkie)

"I always thought he was the biggest waste of talent and he really turned that around and I’m happy to see it." - White, on his cousin's Walt's friend, Jesse Pinkman. (5thRound.com)

"Nothing sucks worse than a draw, I hate it." - White (MMA Torch)

"I have to run my business so if I have to yank him over here then I'll do it." - White, on Gilbert Melendez. (MMA Nation)

"He's like the Arturo Gatti of MMA." - White, on Frankie Edgar. Do all the Arturo Gatti's of MMA receive power rings too? (MMA Mania)

"He's the number two pound-for-pound fighter in the world, period." - White, again on Frankie Edgar. Six straight title defenses just don't mean what they used to.

"I'm going to continue making moves that are stupid and will never work." - White (Houston Chronicle)

PARTING SHOTS

"I stay out of their beef, and I keep myself neutral to everything." - Melvin Guillard, a one-man Hamsterdam. (Sherdog)

"A lot of it is really there to put a pace on you, put pressure on you and really distract you from what is coming, which is a world-class double-leg takedown that nobody seems to be able to stop." - Brian Stann, on Chael Sonnen. (USA Today)

"If I go out and lay a turd..." - Joey Beltran, on his stool. (Heavy.com)

"I do really good on improv." - Jon Jones. Yes, and?

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