HERSCHEL WALKER OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION
"My thing is I want to be a good ambassador for the sport, but being an ambassador doesn't mean you have to be fighting." - Heisman-trophy winner, NFL superstar, Olympic bobsledder, dissociative identity, and MMA fighter Herschel Walker. (MMA Torch)
"I want to be able to talk about this MMA stuff, but I want to at least have the knowledge that I've been in the cage before and I've done it." - Walker
"If I continue to stay in the shape I'm in now, I know I can play when I'm 50. Right now, if you asked if I can play today, there's absolutely no doubt in my mind I can play football today, that I can help out a team today." - Walker, making an off-the-cuff remark about returning to the NFL. I debunked this.
"There's no doubt, if I come back I'm going to fight someone a little bit tougher. But my biggest goal right now is just to get in the gym and work." - Walker, who breezed through Scott Carson in his second MMA bout. (MMA Fighting)
"If I'm going to fight again, I won't (wait) so long because I am getting old, but at the same time, fighting again is not my goal." - Walker. Hopefully Scott Coker can tell us next week that he's setting up a fun fight between Herschel and Dave Bautista.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR WELTERWEIGHT DIVISION IS SHALLOW
"In boxing, when you're a superstar, you get millions of dollars. In MMA, you're not making that kind of money." - Nick Diaz, not a superstar in boxing. (ESPN.com)
"But listen, there's another guy that's been opening his mouth that's in MMA -- and that's Nick Diaz. He's been calling me out saying he wants to fight me." - Former light middleweight boxing champion Fernando Vargas (ESPN.com)
"We're in negotiations right now with [boxing promoter] Don Chargin. We would very much like to take a boxing match." - Diaz, adding, "Hey, buddy, pass that s***."
"I'm like, 'Who is this guy? You're not an elite mixed martial artist. You're not even in the UFC.' That's definitely a fight that interests me. He got my attention." - Vargas, who later pointed out that Halle Berry "really isn't that hot, and her elbows are too pointy."
FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS
"It’s thirty below zero in Alexandria right now. I had enough of the ice fishing and trouncing around in the snow." - Brock Lesnar. When he says "trouncing around" he means "making snow angels." (Heavy.com)
"I was the UFC heavyweight champion. What more qualifications do you need?" - Lesnar, on if he's capable of coaching a team on the Ultimate Fighter.
"I'm not here to stir any s*** up, I don't need to do that. I ain't a mindf***er, I'm an ass-kicker, that's what I try to be." - Lesnar
"When I go dark, people have to talk about something." - Lesnar, bringing new meaning to having a body built like a black man. (Yahoo!)
"It's a funny thing. I go sit in my deer shack or my fish house and you guys (in the media) still talk about me and I don't even have to say a word." - Lesnar
"That thing just took on a life of its own. I’m a fighter. There wasn’t anything there. I never pursued anything, no." - Lesnar, debunking claims that he considered taking up Vince McMahon's offer to appear at Wrestlemania.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE THAT TITO ORTIZ IS FINALLY HEALTHY?
"People don't understand the injuries that I've gone through. I've had some serious, serious surgeries, and I went through some serious pain over the last seven years, and I fought through it." - Ortiz. Let's not forget that Tito broke his skull prior to the Forrest Griffin fight.
"Now that I'm healthy and I feel good, I want to compete. I want to show the best I possibly can and fight the best guys possible." - Ortiz. Vegas lines for Ortiz injury claims on March 27th: back/spinal injury -200, cracked skull +1000, sexually-transmitted disease +1000, gigantism flareup +2500, shorts were actually on fire +5000.
JUST STICK TO THE PROMOTERSPEAK
"On one side you'll have Alistair Overeem and he will fight Barnett." - Coker. So, a bunch of upsets are going to lead to the two fighters that the book makers list as the second and third most likely to win the tournament squaring off in the finals?
"The other prediction is, if Fabricio Werdum beats Alistair, I believe Fabricio can beat Fedor again and he'll probably fight Barnett." - Coker. Nothing like burying the crown jewel of your heavyweight division.
"That's my prediction, but in these things you never know, I'm just throwing out some names." - Coker. Names conveniently not thrown out: Antonio Silva, Andrei Arlovski, Sergei Kharitonov, Brett Rogers.
"The reality is we're going to have a lot of fun watching it unfold." - Coker, adding, "I'll have more to say next week."
"He doesn't want to fight Brian Stann. He's like, 'F*** that; everybody is going to hate me if I fight Brian Stann. Everybody loves Brian Stann.' But that's the fight we're trying to make right now." - UFC President Dana White, on matching up Wanderlei Silva with Brian Stann. Zuffa will market it as the "fight fans have wanted for years." (Cage Potato)
"Imagine going three rounds, two tough guys, and then you gotta get back in the tournament and fight again another thirty minutes. It's not fair. It doesn't really determine who the best guy is." - White, on his dislike of one-night tournaments. (MMA Fighting)
"He wants to know why am I now talking about my Dad's dog tags versus any other fight? It's because my Dad was in the Army and I'm on an Army base." - Pat Barry, responding to a Travis Browne quote that you'll probably see in this week's "Tweet Tweet." (MMA Die Hards)
"If I have to take another stepping stone and Kenny wants to throw himself in there, I promise you if that fight happens, I'm going to f*** him up and I'm going to make it impressive." - Melvin Guillard, punking Kenny Florian. (MMA Weekly)
"I have said I'm going to fight one more time for the last three fights. I meant it. I really have." - Matt Hughes, who doesn't hear the same retirement speech as Chuck Liddell or Jens Pulver despite being brutally knocked out three times in the last four years. (ESPN.com)