(Thanks to Tyler Clemons and Mike Fagan)
Hey! You! Yeah, you, in the Dethrone manthong! Do you like to drink? OF COURSE YOU DO. THAT’S WHY YOU’RE WEARING THAT. But maybe your girlfriend, in between practicing her duckface and touching up her healthy orange glow, has been saying that you drink too much. PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. YOU’RE A MAN. But maybe your bros have been saying the same thing. What do you do then? You can’t punch them, that’s a blatant violation of Bro Code! No, my friend, what you need is AN EXCUSE. A game, mayhaps! Nobody criticizes your bros for drinking too much when they play beer pong. So, to continue our long-forgotten series, here is the UFC 118 Drinking Game Addendum. Original rules, as always, still apply and can be found here. Onwards, my brethren, to liver failure!
Take a drink if:
- Randy Couture’s takedown attempts are stuffed. At any time. For any reason.
- Mike Goldberg actually buys into James Toney’s “Death Fighter” stories. At any time. For any reason.
- Goldberg or Joe Rogan make reference to Toney’s boxing record.
- Goldberg or Rogan mention Randy Couture’s Army boxing background.
- Goldberg or Rogan talk about “a professional boxer in four ounce gloves.”
- Demian Maia is booed during his walkout.
- Maia responds by trying to kickbox his way into the fans’ hearts.
- Nate Diaz displays his astounding THC-enhanced strategic thinking by trying to outbox Marcus Davis.
- Davis displays his astounding repetitive head trauma-enhanced strategic thinking by trying to grapple with Diaz.
- “Kenny Florian finishes fights,” or any related nonsense.
- Dana White backs down on his promises of a title shot to the winner of Florian’s fight with Gray Maynard if the fight ends in a decision.
- Rogan mentions “just a kid from Stockton/Jersey” regarding Diaz or Frankie Edgar, respectively.
- You hear the phrase “classic striker vs. grappler matchup” in the lead-up to any of the fights.
- The camera cuts to a Boston sports or entertainment figure in between rounds or fights.
Take a huge drink if:
- Toney wins by submission.
- Toney successfully demonstrates his legendary “side check kick.”
- Nate Diaz smiles. At any time. For any reason.
- Couture attempts to outbox Toney. If this happens, it’s gonna be a looooong night…
- Some inbred chucklefuck in the crowd is shown wearing this shirt.
Finish your drink, break the bottle open, and stab yourself in the dick if:
- You are the inbred chucklefuck wearing that shirt.